


Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

by Scouts_Mockingbird



Series: Horseshoes and Hand Grenades AU [1]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Holidays, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Teenaged Angst Bullshit, The Fake Dating AU Nobody Asked For, Well It's slow for these two, ignores canon so that people can be happy for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-14 11:17:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13006653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scouts_Mockingbird/pseuds/Scouts_Mockingbird
Summary: Veronica needs a boyfriend for the holidays, and she's never been above a little lying to make her life easier.JD has a crush on one of the most popular girls in school, and now he's agreed to pretend to be her boyfriend to save her from her relatives.It might all dissolve into chaos, but it's definitely going to be unforgettable.





	1. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fuck This

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the summary, I'm pretty terrible at those, but thanks for reading anyway. This is some fun holiday fun to help me unwind during finals. Enjoy!

_Desperate times call for desperate measures_ Veronica reminded herself as she stomped her feet in a futile attempt to keep warm. She had been waiting in front of the 7/11 for the better part of an hour, praying that the object of her salvation would show up.

She thought briefly about what had brought her to this place, and decided the blame rested firmly in her parents’ hands. Volunteering to host her extended family over the holidays was not only insane, it was borderline criminal, in Veronica’s opinion. And because her extended family represented everything that was regressive in the world, she needed backup. Thanksgiving dinner with them had been like stepping into the Regency era. She had been asked if she had a boyfriend no less than four times over the course of the meal. A whole week of that would drive her to homicide, so she’d cooked up an insane plan to prevent it.

Veronica Sawyer was going to get a boyfriend. Her original plan had been to start dating one of the many college guys Heather Chandler had thrown at her over the past month of Remington parties, but they’d all proven insufferable. With no other choice, she’d decided she would need to come up with a fake boyfriend, and there was only one guy at Westerburg who she could even imagine asking.

And he wasn’t _here._ When they’d spoken all those months ago, Jason Dean had told her that he came here nearly every day for food, she’d chosen to wait here rather than risk having her insane plan overheard at school. But it was freezing and the sun had set ages ago. Veronica was beginning to give up hope.

She resolved to wait another fifteen minutes and then go home, provided she didn’t freeze to death before the time elapsed.

Exactly twelve minutes later, she heard the roar of a motorcycle pulling into the parking lot. _Thank God._

JD had headphones on and he breezed past her without even seeing her, Veronica had to grab his arm to get his attention. “JD! Hi, um, can I talk to you for a second?”

            He stared at her, surprised and confused as he removed his headphones. _Trust me, it’s going to get a lot more confusing._ When he eventually nodded for her to go on, Veronica braced herself and explained her plan.

  

“So, say that again -  _why_  do we need to pretend to be dating?” JD eyed her with an amused kind of shock, or at least she hoped it was amused.  She was praying he could have a good sense of humor about this.  “I barely know you, we’ve talked all of two times.  That hardly seems like a good foundation for a relationship.” 

Veronica rolled her eyes and ground her teeth together; she should have expected him to be difficult about this. “Look, I just need this for a few nights over the holidays, okay? If I have to hear my extended family ask me if I have a boyfriend  _one more time_ I’m going to kill someone.” 

He snorted, apparently unperturbed by her violent outburst, “I can sympathize with annoying family members.  But why me?” 

“JD, you’ve met most of the guys in this school, hell you’ve punched a few of them in the face. I don’t want to _speak_ to them, much less convince people we’re dating.  Plus, you’ve got this whole…  _Look_ going that will totally freak out my grandmother.” She laughed at the idea of this chain smoking, motorcycle-riding rebel sitting in her living room with her grandmother and aunts.  

He rolled his eyes, “Thanks.” He didn’t sound terribly grateful. “So what’s in it for me? _If_ I do this, I mean.” 

_Oh, shit._ She didn’t really have anything to offer him, and there were certain things she would  _not_ sink to. “Umm… I could pay you? I don’t have a lot…” 

“Not interested.” He turned to go and she reached out to stop him. 

“No, don’t go! Look, I’m really desperate. My extended family is insane and I just really, really don’t want to go through the whole week on my own.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes, willing him to agree.

But he shook his head. “Sorry, I um, already have plans for the holidays.”

“Oh. Right, of course you do. I’m sorry.” Veronica tried not to let the rejection sting. She really shouldn’t care and she shouldn’t be surprised that he had more important places to be. Still, she wished it could have turned out differently. He was her last resort. “Well, thanks anyway. See you at school.” She waved awkwardly and turned to go.

“Wait, at least let me give you a ride home. It’s freezing out here.” He gestured at his bike

Veronica really just wanted her humiliation to end, but he was right, it was frigid and she was tired. She nodded and accepted the helmet he held out to her. “Thanks, JD.”

  

* * *

 

 

As he watched Veronica walk into her house, he thought about what she’d asked him. A part of him was berating himself for blowing his chance at spending more time with her, but the facts were simple. JD didn’t want to pretend to date Veronica Sawyer; he wanted to actually date her.

She’d been something of an interest of his since he got here. After their conversation in the 7/11 in September he’d wanted to find an excuse to talk to her again, but he’d made up reasons not to. Most of them boiled down to “you’re going to be gone in a few weeks anyway” but that wasn’t true this time. Due to some unforeseen complications with the motel demolition, the Deans were stuck in Sherwood until at least spring, and JD was hoping to push that until graduation.

It was the first time dating was an actual possibility for him, but he was fucking it all up by being interested in a girl so far out of his league it was almost laughable. Veronica was one of the most popular girls in school, fawned over by nearly everyone, and yet she was above it all. The endless shit all the other students slogged through every day didn’t even touch her, despite the fact that her friends were caked in it.

He returned to the 7/11 to grab food before he headed for home. Try as he might, he couldn’t get Veronica out of his head. She’d seemed so desperate— almost afraid— something he’d never thought he’d see from the normally cool girl he knew from the lunchroom. Would it really be so bad to help her out? It would be a chance to get to know her for real, maybe even become friends with her.

But it would be a lie. JD didn’t think he could meet her parents and hold her hand and act like she was his if she actually wasn’t. But she would never be his if he didn’t talk to her, and somehow he doubted he would suddenly pack up the courage to start random conversations with her. The first time had been a random act of insanity, and it was a miracle it hadn’t gone horribly wrong.

He let his thoughts spin in the same circle over and over again as he contemplated whether or not it would be worth it for a chance to get to know her. This was one of the times he wished he had someone to talk to. He briefly wondered what his mom would have said, but there was no point in asking that. She wasn’t here. Theoretically, he could ask his father, but Bud had been restless lately, drinking to fill days when he couldn’t work. Bud had never liked being in one place for very long, and they’d been in Sherwood for a while.

JD decided his problems were best kept to himself.

His pathetic dinner was getting cold, which did nothing to make the microwave meal more appealing. JD took a bite and choked. It was worse than he’d been expecting. Grimacing, he tossed it into the trash. It had been a long time since he’d had a home cooked meal. Even when his mom was alive, they hadn’t occurred very often. Alice Dean had been good at a lot of things, but cooking was never one of them. Since she’d died, JD had attempted to learn to cook, and had succeeded in learning the very basics, but for the most part he was too lazy to bother with it.

The tragedy that was his dinner called to mind another potential benefit of taking Veronica up on her offer. Wherever there were large family gatherings, there was food, and lots of it. It seemed like an ideal situation; he got to spend time with the girl of his dreams and he’d get a few decent meals out of it.

But Veronica’s words kept coming back to him. She hadn’t really been interested in him, just the image he presented and the effect that would have on her family. He had to admit that stung a little bit. He had gotten the impression that he was absolutely not the type of guy she actually liked, but he would freak out her family, which was the ultimate goal. For the first time in a while, he made a point of checking his appearance in the mirror.

If he was being honest with himself, Veronica was right. He looked like a stereotypical no-good teen, the sort that baby boomers shouted at to get off their lawn. He flung himself down on his bed, frowning when it creaked loudly. Fucking rental house furniture. Aside from the bed and the desk, the room was bare and ugly, for a moment, he let himself consider what Veronica’s house looked like.

She had money, that much was obvious based on the way she dressed and who she hung out with. Her house was probably brightly lit and warm, covered in Christmas decorations. Cheerful and normal. It was a nice mental image and certainly not something that would ever happen in the Dean household.

Halfheartedly, JD dragged his thoughts away from Veronica and her ridiculous proposition. Tomorrow was the last day of classes and he had an exam he should probably at least think about studying for. As he tried to drown himself in facts and dates from American history, he kept returning to the image of a pair of pleading brown eyes, frustrated and beautiful. A girl, standing in the cold to wait for him. The way her eyebrows knit together when she was disappointed. Maybe… maybe it wasn’t so ridiculous after all. Maybe it would be worth it if it made her smile.

With that thought, JD realized he was completely done for.

 

* * *

 

JD didn’t show up for lunch the next day, and Veronica definitely did not notice. Well, nobody would have been able to tell that she noticed, and that was the same thing. Her eyes kept darting to his usual seat in the far corner of the cafeteria and then immediately flitting away because she didn’t care. She did not care that the weird new kid wasn’t here after she’d cornered him in front of a convenience store and demanded he pretend to be her boyfriend.

“Veronica!” Heather Chandler’s demanding voice called Veronica’s attention back to the table. ‘Well? What do you think?”

It took Veronica several long seconds to realize that Heather was holding her phone out so Veronica could give an opinion on Heather’s dress for the McNamara’s New Years Eve party. “Yeah, it’s um… red.”

Heather huffed, clearly having expected a different answer. “Of course it’s red. Red is my signature color.”

“It’s just, isn’t it kind of similar to the eighty-two other red dresses you have in your closet?” Veronica knew she should just stop talking. She was always on thin ice with Chandler and one wrong move would be disastrous for her social life.

She’d barely survived Heather’s wrath after she’d refused to play a prank on Martha Dunnstock in September. Heather Duke had saved her by suggesting Courtney as the victim instead. Veronica had fewer moral qualms about pranking popular and bitchy Courtney, and Chandler hated her so she got nearly the same amount of satisfaction from watching her be humiliated. Veronica still felt a little guilty about it, but at least she hadn’t pointlessly hurt Martha, who’d never done anything to anyone.

“So, Veronica, do you have a dress yet?” Heather McNamara asked, unintentionally interrupting Chandler before she could say something rude to Veronica.

“I’ve been… studying.” She lied, “So, I haven’t had time to get one yet.” The truth was that she didn’t really care that much and she hated the weirdly strict way Chandler controlled what they wore to stuff like this. Her instagram aesthetic was everything, and that meant her friends had to be properly color coded for every photo.

Duke came to her rescue. “Veronica and I are going shopping together over the break. We’ll send pictures for final approval.”

“You’d better.” Heather Chandler replied before turning the conversation to her latest Remington boy toy. “Anyway, Hunter invited me to go skiing with his family in January, it’s going to be so— Can I fucking help you?”

JD had come up to their table, looking uncomfortable, but he completely ignored Heather’s hostility. “Veronica, can I talk to you? It’s about that project we were talking about yesterday.”

_Holy shit, he can’t mean…_ Veronica stood up quickly to go with him, before realizing all the Heathers were gaping at her. “Um, JD and I are partners for a project in… French.” She threw out the only class she knew none of the others were in so that they couldn’t ask what project she was talking about.

JD led her out of the cafeteria and into the empty hallway so they could talk. “Listen,” Veronica started, still embarrassed after his rejection, “About yesterday—“

“I changed my mind.” He interrupted before she could start babbling.

Veronica paused for a moment to process what he’d said. When it dawned on her, she couldn’t contain her enthusiasm. “Wait, seriously? Oh my god, thank you!” Impulsively, she leapt forward and hugged him.  He tensed for a second, then carefully hugged her back. 

Emboldened by relief and excitement, Veronica flirted a little, the way she had when they had run into each other in the 7/11, “You know, if we’re going to do this, you’re going to have to get used to touching me.” 

JD looked her up and down, appraising.  From Kurt or Ram or any of the other jock assholes she knew that look would have pissed her off, but from him, it made her cheeks feel warm.  

When he had finished his perusal, a slow, gorgeous smile crept onto his face, “I can live with that.” 

            Fighting the blush that was turning her face an embarrassing shade of pink, Veronica smiled back at him. “Can you come over after school so we can talk about it? It might be a good idea to get our story straight.” She was making it sound like some kind of covert mission in one of her dad’s shitty spy novels.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll see you then.” He turned and walked away, his long coat flapping around his legs.

As she watched him go, Veronica got the feeling they were both wondering what exactly they’d gotten themselves into.


	2. All I Want For Christmas is to be Left Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shouldn't have written this. I'm supposed to be writing an essay. Enjoy!

JD parked his bike in front of Veronica’s house and sat there for a bit, taking in his surroundings. Her house was nice, and he felt out of place in her neighborhood. Despite the fact that his father could easily afford one of these places, the rental houses they always occupied were usually simple affairs, nothing like the fancy historic houses on this street. He thought about leaving and pretending none of this had ever happened, but he knew Veronica was counting on him.

_Screw your courage to the sticking place, JD._ With that in mind, he abandoned the safety of his bike and headed for the front door. Before he had a chance to knock, Veronica leaned out of an upstairs window and shouted at him. “Come on in, it’s open. My room’s upstairs, down the hall, last door on the right.”

JD stepped inside and felt like he’d walked into a Dickens novel, and not one of the miserable ones. The walls were painted a rich red with wood paneling and floors; brass chandeliers and sconces lit the room, illuminating the family photo that hung right inside the door. There were also garlands _everywhere_ and the whole house smelled like pine. It felt like breathing in a Norman Rockwell poster. JD quickly dashed upstairs to Veronica’s room, hoping it would be an escape.

It was. Her room was painted blue, with the same dark wood accents as downstairs. Veronica was not immediately noticeable, curled up as she was in a little alcove made by the window. She appeared to be drawing something in a thick black notebook with a wide variety of colored pens.

Veronica looked up when he entered and smiled, “Hi honey, how was work?”

JD rolled his eyes and brushed some of her pens out of the way so he could sit next to her. “Please don’t do that.”

“Do what?” She didn’t take her eyes off whatever she was drawing, and though it was tempting, he didn’t lean over to see what it was. Somehow that felt like an invasion. “The point of this is acting like we’re dating. That means we have to actually, y’know, act like we’re dating.”

“Yeah, I know.” He tried not to sound defensive, but already this was harder than he’d thought it was going to be. She’d smiled at him and used a dumb nickname and for a split second he’d wanted to believe it was real. _Stop it. Get your shit together and act like a normal person._ “Don’t call me honey, it’s stupid.” It came out sounding a lot more petulant and childish than he’d meant.

Veronica rolled her eyes and finally set her pen down and closed the notebook. “Okay, fine. No nicknames. But we need to figure out what our story is. This has to be good enough to fool my family, and despite some of their political opinions, they’re not stupid.”

“Okay… how did we meet?”

She looked at him like it was the dumbest thing she’d ever heard. “In the lunchroom, I was doing the lunchtime poll. The best way to make this real is to lie as little as possible.”

JD chose not to point out that saying that they were dating was already a huge fucking lie. “Okay. Right. So… when did we get together?”

“Hmm, pretty recently?” She looked at him for input.

A moment of sheer insanity happened, and he spoke without thinking. “I asked you out a couple weeks ago, you seemed stressed. I thought you could use a break.” It was stupid. Completely idiotic, really, to use an actual time when he’d really wanted to ask her out. She was smart; she would put two and two together and realize he’d been watching her. Veronica would know he liked her and this whole situation would get weirder and more uncomfortable.

But she nodded, apparently oblivious to his anxiety. “That’s good. My parents know I’ve been worried about some stuff lately, so they’ll believe that.” She casually reached out and grabbed his hand, smiling up at him. “You’re already getting better at that.”

For a brief second, he thought about pulling away, but he didn’t. He did need to be better at being touched carelessly like this, and he had to admit it was nice, aside from one detail. “Your hands are _so_ cold.” He pressed her hand between both of his, squeezing to warm it up.

She blushed and laughed, “I’ve been sitting here for ages working on the Heathers’ Christmas presents and it gets cold in my room.”

Unknowingly, she gave him the perfect opening to ask about the notebook. “What are you giving them?”

Veronica grabbed the book and held it out to him, revealing a page with several beautiful calligraphy phrases. Well… the calligraphy was beautiful, the phrases… “’Who the fuck are you?’” He read aloud, “’Well, shit’, ‘Fuck me gently with a chainsaw’. Veronica, what the hell do these mean?” The whole page was littered with swear words and random phrases.

“There’s just something satisfying about seeing the word ‘fuck’ in perfect calligraphy. The last one is something Heather actually said the other day and I thought it was funny. I won’t actually give her one of those.” She pulled a loose piece of cardstock from the back of the notebook and handed it to him. “This is the only one I’ve finished, it’s for Heather Duke.”

“ _Get smart and nothing can touch you_ ” JD read, “That sounds familiar, what’s it from?”

“ _The Outsiders._ It’s one of her favorite books, so I looked for a quote I liked. I think it fits her.”

JD was surprised that he and Heather had anything at all in common, but it was one of his favorite books as well. “Somehow I wouldn’t think the so-called queen of Westerburg would be interested in a book about class differences and gang violence.”

Veronica laughed, “You’re thinking of Heather Chandler, I’m talking about

“How the fuck do you tell them apart!” JD threw up his hands in exasperation.

With a small smile, Veronica snatched her notebook back and started scribbling, switching pens on occasion. “Ta-da!” She tore out the page she’d been drawing on and handed it to him. ‘Chandler’ was written in red, ‘Duke’ in green, and ‘McNamara’ in yellow.

“That’s… actually very helpful, thank you. The color coding is convenient, do they do that just so people can tell them apart?”

Veronica rolled her eyes, looking away from him to stare out the widow. “Heather Chandler really likes to be in control. She’s also obsessive about her instagram aesthetic, having all of us in different colors is important to her. Most days she’s calm about it as long as we have on _something_ in our color, but for big events she’s a fucking nightmare.”

“Big events?” JD asked, not sure how four seventeen year olds could have anything extremely important to attend.

“Stuff where Heather knows there’ll be a lot of pictures taken. The next big one is the McNamara’s party for New Year’s. Heather is making us send pictures of our dresses for approval.” She rolled her eyes, “Which is why my phone is on silent, I just really don’t want to deal with them right now.”

She seemed sad and overwhelmed, and he caught the look of loneliness that had intrigued him from the start. Impulsively, he reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. She caught the gesture, and he stopped, letting his hand hang in the air awkwardly for a second too long before he pulled it back.

 

* * *

 

Veronica watched JD’s hand, and couldn’t decide if she was relieved or not that he’d chosen not to touch her. Part of her would have liked the comfort of being touched, but the other part was wary. She didn’t know this boy very well at all. She knew he’d gotten into fights (the one on the day they’d met was only the first) and that he was a little… odd.

But he’d been nothing but nice to her. Listening quietly while she’d ranted about the Heathers, offering her a ride home because it was cold, hell, the fact that he was pretending to be her boyfriend was pretty fucking nice. Veronica knew she had no right to judge him.

The silence between them had grown awkward, and unable to handle it anymore, Veronica blurted, “So what about you? I’ve been going on about myself this whole time, but this has to work both ways.” Her laugh was shrill and false in her ears and she flinched, knowing she was making everything worse.

JD rubbed the back of his neck, standing up to pace around her room. “There isn’t much to tell really. I live with my dad, but we’re more like roommates than family.” He shrugged, clearly not one to talk about himself.

Ignoring this, Veronica tried to wheedle more information out of him. He couldn’t maintain that mysterious newcomer vibe forever. “What do you do for fun? I let you go through my notebook, so it’s only fair for you to give me _something._ Besides, what am I going to tell my mom when she asks me about you?”

JD smirked, rolling his eyes slightly at the reminder of why they were hanging out. “I guess… Um, I like to read and I play the guitar.”

“That’s so cool!” Veronica gushed, surprising herself a little. “People with musical talent are so impressive. I’m jealous.”

He laughed, “How do you feel about the saxophone?” Her brows knit together in question and he snorted, “Yep, believe it or not that was my first instrument, back when I was a band geek.”

“I don’t believe it,” Veronica insisted, still laughing, “It doesn’t really fit with…” She gestured to his dark clothes and long coat.

JD’s face grew sad, the laughter slipping off of it as if a shadow had passed through the room. “Yeah, I guess I kind of changed after,” He shrugged, not finishing the sentence.

“After what?” She asked like a nosy idiot, and immediately wished she hadn’t. If she’d gotten JD to open up a little bit, that shut him down as sure as if she’d hit him. “Never mind, I’m sorry.”

Veronica stood up and reached for him, and he stepped closer, allowing her to hold both his hands in hers. They stood frozen like that in the center of the room and Veronica felt the same flutter she’d felt months ago in the 7/11. They had been dancing around something then, and that same thing rose like cloud in her room at that moment.

She pulled away first, clearing her throat and turning away from the intensity in his eyes. “Do you like cats?”

As far as questions went, it was about as random as she could have come up with, but it distracted him, and his expression went back to the carefully neutral one he’d been wearing when he’d first arrived. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’ve never had one. We move too much for pets. But sure, cats are fine.”

“Cool, then you should meet President Obama.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him down so he was lying next to her on the ground. Lifting the ruffle, she pointed at the small lump that lived under her bed. “That’s him.”

“You named your cat President Obama?” The cat heard its name and slunk out of his hiding place to investigate the newcomer.

As JD scratched him under his chin, Veronica explained. “Yeah, my dad is a history professor and he likes to name cats after presidents. Growing up we had JFK, but he died a few years ago. Then we got Bill Clinton but he’s more of an outdoor cat and we don’t see him very much. I think he moved in with a neighbor. So that just leaves him.” She gestured to the gray cat that was now purring like a motor and rubbing against JD’s hand.

Veronica was relieved that JD was smiling again, his entire focus on the cat. She wasn’t sure why it mattered to her so much that he’d been sad, but she was glad she’d found a way to make it better. It also made her weirdly happy that her normally shy cat seemed to like him so much.

“This is a really nice house, for a professor. I mean, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

Veronica wasn’t offended by the question; she’d heard it enough times. “It was my mom’s parent’s house, they were loaded and she got everything when they died. My dad only works because he loves his job.” She figured her life must sound extremely dull and Midwestern compared to things he’d seen and done.

“So, who am I going to be meeting?” JD sat up so President Obama could curl up in his lap, glancing up at Veronica when he asked the question.

Veronica sighed, “My dad’s side of the family. So, my grandmother, three of my uncles, their wives, and I’m pretty sure only two of my cousins are able to make it so you won’t have to meet all ten of them.”

“Ten?” JD’s jaw dropped and Veronica laughed; apparently big families were new to him.

“I think my uncles were hoping to put a football team together consisting of only Sawyer boys. I ruined the streak. But, yeah, you’ll be meeting Bryce and Troy. All the others are older than us and aren’t coming home.”

“Bryce and Troy?” He sounded vaguely disgusted and Veronica agreed that the names were unfortunate. “Football players?”

“Worse,” She replied, “Wrestlers.”

“Jesus Christ, no wonder you need backup. You should have led with ‘my cousins Bryce and Troy who are wrestlers’ I would have done anything you needed.”

Veronica laughed and punched him in the arm lightly, upsetting Obama, who skulked off to find another peaceful place to sleep. “I really am glad you’re doing this. I hope it isn’t awful for you.”

For a second, Veronica thought he looked sad, but it was gone in a moment replaced by a surprisingly intense determination. “It won’t be.”


	3. Merry Crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH! I am so so so sorry this took so long to finish. Thank you so much for all the support and kind comments and OMG I'm just so grateful. Hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly now that I'm done with school for a little while. Enjoy!

“Veronica, I need you in the kitchen!”

Veronica groaned and tossed her sketchbook aside to answer her mother’s summons. She doubted that her mother actually needed her. On her best days, Veronica wasn’t much of a cook, especially compared to her mother. But all the additional Sawyers were arriving tonight, and it was all hands on deck to get ready for them.

The afternoon had been spent cleaning rooms and making beds, and Veronica had gleefully snatched a couple moments to herself to work on Heather Chandler’s Christmas present. It was nearly done, but she was forced to abandon it before her mom got mad.

The kitchen was organized chaos, with every inch of counter covered in food, some fully cooked, others in various stages of construction. “Can you do the peas, dear?” Her mom asked, gesturing towards a large pile of pea pods next to the sink. Veronica contained a groan and nodded.

Her mom hummed along to some Christmas earworm that was playing on the radio, and Veronica yearned for her headphones while she started the peas. “I’m glad you’re bringing your boyfriend to dinner, Veronica.”

_Oh, shit._ Her mom’s tone indicated that she was about to receive A Talk, and she didn’t feel up to it. “Yeah, me too. I think you’ll like him.” She did not, in fact, think that. She thought her mom would pretend to like JD and talk to her sternly about the ‘myth of bad boys’ once everyone had left after Christmas.

“Well, I ran into his father at the grocery store earlier. He seemed a little odd…”

_Shit!_ “You what?” Veronica hesitated in her pea shelling to look at her mom.

“He seemed very surprised to meet me, I wonder if maybe JD didn’t tell him about you? That’s a bad sign, Veronica.” Her mother pursed her lips and frowned at Veronica.

She struggled to come up with a reasonable explanation for why JD wouldn’t tell his father about a relationship that had supposedly been going on for weeks. “I think… Um… He’s not super close to his dad, and I don’t think guys really talk about that kind of thing?” Mrs. Sawyer wasn’t one to argue with gender norms most of the time, hopefully that would keep stop her questions.

“I suppose not. Anyway, I hope he’s polite. You know how your grandmother can be.” Mrs. Sawyer went back to stirring whatever was on the stove.

_Yeah, I know, that’s why I asked some random guy to pretend to be my boyfriend._ “He’ll be polite, I promise.”

It was probably a stupid promise to make. She didn’t know a lot about JD, only a handful of rumors had circulated about him. Most of them involved Kurt and Ram’s unlucky attempts at revenge for the fight in September, but a few had mentioned him mouthing off at teachers and having a general lack of respect for authority. She was pretty into it.

Apparently her mother wasn’t quite finished talking. “Before I forget, I’m letting you open one of your Christmas presents early so that you can use it when everyone’s here. I left it on the table.” Veronica’s mother was smiling slightly, and watching her with eager eyes as she went to the table.

As always, the gift was meticulously wrapped, and Veronica almost felt bad ruining it, but she was eager to see what was inside. “Oh my god, Mom, thank you!” It was the Polaroid camera she’d asked for and several film cartridges. “It’s exactly the one I wanted!” Smiling, Veronica hugged the unexpected present to her chest, before she tore it out of the packaging to try it.

“Now, Veronica, I want you to make sure you take some pictures of the family, not just dozens of pictures of that boy!” Her mother’s tone was gently scolding, and Veronica nodded, barely paying attention to her mother’s words.

She was busy thinking of a pair of undeniably attractive green eyes.

 

* * *

 

JD was not exactly surprised to realize he didn’t own any decent clothes. In general, he wasn’t much for dressing up, and he rarely had any reason to. His wardrobe of t-shirts and flannels— and the coat if it wasn’t too hot— were all he needed almost all of the time. But now… well tonight was a bit different. What exactly was one supposed to wear to meet your fake girlfriend’s parents?

Giving up on finding something nice, JD settled for something clean and pulled on one of his flannels before heading down to the living room. He generally preferred to stay in his bedroom, but there wasn’t much furniture in there, and what was there was uncomfortable at best. The only relaxing place to sit was on the living room couch, so if he wanted to do any reading, he usually had to show his face in the common area of the house. If his dad was home, sometimes that meant conversation.

Bud was home today, restless as always, and wandering from room to room in the ugly rental house, as if looking for something. JD chose to ignore him and hope he went away. But Bud saw him before he made it to the couch. “Jason, um, is there anything you want to tell me?”

JD racked his brain for something he was supposed to tell his father and couldn’t come up with anything. He very rarely told him anything if he could avoid it. “I don’t think so, why?”

“Well, someone named Joyce Sawyer cornered me in the grocery store today…”

_Shit._ “What did she say?” JD kept his tone carefully neutral.

Bud cleared his throat awkwardly, “She mentioned how excited she was to meet you, and how highly Veronica had spoken of you. So… who’s Veronica?”

_Fuck._ “Just this girl, she’s not…” He was going to say ‘important’, but the word was too much of a lie, even for him. “It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing. It _sounds_ like you’re going to her house to meet her family tonight.” Bud paused to glance at JD for confirmation. “I guess I would have thought you’d tell me if you had a girlfriend.”

JD realized he only had two options for what to say, so he chose the less unpleasant one. “Veronica’s not really my girlfriend. We’re just telling her parents that because her family wants her to be dating someone.”

“You’re… _pretending_ to date her?” Incredulous was not a tone JD had heard from his father before. He’d never been invested enough in something his son was saying to bother disbelieving it.

“Yes.” JD didn’t really want to go into the full explanation.

Bud didn’t let it drop, even when faced with JD’s terse answer. “Kind of seems like you want to date her for real. Is she pretty?”

_She’s gorgeous._ “I don’t know, just drop it, okay?” JD realized a second to late that his hostile reply was probably answer enough.

“Sure.” Again, Bud cleared his throat, adopting an expression that was probably trying to be fatherly. “Jason, if things with this girl _do_ get serious, there are some things you and I should talk about. You know, you have to… be safe… when, um, when you’re—“

JD finally realized what his father was talking about. “Holy shit, Dad, I’m seventeen! And you kind of already missed the boat on that particular talk.”

Bud sighed in relief, having parented enough for one day and turned to leave. “But Jason, if you are going to meet her parents, you might want to think about buying yourself a decent shirt.” He threw a couple bills on the table and retreated to his den.

As much as JD wanted to be irritated by that, he couldn’t really argue.

 

Hours later he stood, nervous and wearing a new sweater, in front of Veronica’s house. The driveway was packed with cars, indicating that her family had arrived sometime earlier. His phone buzzed and he checked it as an excuse to continue stalling.

_VS: You don’t have to do this. I wouldn’t be mad if you bailed._

JD gritted his teeth. He wasn’t going to let Veronica down, no matter what. The little reminder that she kind of expected him to was enough to spur him into action. He glanced longingly up at Veronica’s window, but when she didn’t lean out and tell him to come up there with her; he knocked on the door like a civilized person.

Veronica opened the door. “Run. Run now and don’t look back—“

“For heaven’s sake, Veronica, let him in!”

She rolled her eyes and opened the door all the way so he could step inside. “I’m really sorry about this…”

Instinctively, he reached out and held her hand, squeezing it gently. “It’s fine, honestly.” Her anxious face softened into a warm smile and his breath caught in his throat. She was just so beautiful.

She squeezed his hand, “Thank you.” He was still a little dazed by having that smile directed at him, so he followed her silently into the next room.

It was crowded with Sawyers, and JD quickly noticed a family trait they all had in common. They were all short. JD felt like giant, towering over everyone in the room by at least a few inches. It didn’t help when everyone immediately swarmed around him.

Hands were shaken and names were exchanged. All of them blurred past JD and he didn’t register any of them. Veronica’s hand in his was an anchor, keeping him from running away. The fact that it was shaking a little was only more confirmation that she needed him here, and he couldn’t let her down. That was enough to make him brave.

“Veronica,” An older woman with a cloud of white hair snapped, eyeing him with poorly concealed disapproval, “Why didn’t you take his coat?”

Veronica started to apologize, and JD wondered if it would be rude to ask to keep it, it had been something of a security blanket for years, and he needed it now more than ever. But everyone was watching him, so he just did the expected thing, and took it off. Veronica left the room, presumably to hang it up somewhere. He missed her almost as much as the coat.

Two guys about his age approached out of the crowd of Sawyers and JD tensed. Guys like this coming up to him usually meant a fight was about to start. The slightly taller one jerked his chin in JD’s direction, presumably some sort of greeting. “Sup.”

JD forced a facsimile of a smile, “Hi.” These two must be Veronica’s cousins, Bryce and Troy, though he doubted he’d ever be able to tell them apart. They were both a few inches shorter than him, but broad and muscular with arms just slightly too long for their bodies. They looked like apes, but he wasn’t about to credit them with that much intelligence.

Veronica reappeared at his side, but didn’t take his hand. “Bryce, Troy, this is JD.”

“So, do you play any sports?” Bryce’s question brought a slight hush over the room as everyone tried to listen for a response.

JD answered truthfully, “No. I move around a lot so there isn’t usually time to join teams or anything.” He’d tried out for track once, and even made some friends on the team, but it had only made moving harder, so at the next school, he didn’t bother.

“What do you _do_?” Troy didn’t seem to understand that there were things people could do other than play sports.

Veronica’s dad rescued him, “Ah! More of an academic than an athlete, excellent! What’s your favorite subject?”

JD would not have called himself an academic, but he did enjoy school when it wasn’t hell. “Um, history I guess?”

Mr. Sawyer beamed, “As it should be! Veronica, I think I might like him.”

Veronica laughed, “You should!” When JD looked down at her for some clarification about how that answer had curried so much favor, she mouthed _history professor_ while nodding at her dad. JD had forgotten Veronica’s dad’s profession, and had somehow accidentally sucked up to him. It was the luckiest he’d been in a long time.

“Veronica, why don’t you come help me finish dinner?” Veronica’s mother interrupted the conversation.

She glanced at JD, “Mom, I have a guest, I can’t just—“

“Veronica!” Mrs. Sawyer hissed, “Come help me.” JD flinched at her tone, and Veronica did too. Her aunts also stood up and filed into the kitchen, with Veronica following reluctantly behind. He hated seeing her go.

 

* * *

 

Veronica hated leaving JD. He was alone at the mercy of her uncles and cousins—not to mention her grandmother— and she doubted her father would be much help. He could barely stand up for himself when they were around.

They’d done most of the cooking that afternoon, so all that they needed to do now was reheat a couple things and set everything out. Of course, the women all managed to make it into far more of a production than it needed to be. Veronica took a couple of pictures of them dithering around the kitchen before her mom told her to make sure they had enough serving utensils out.   She kept the camera with her the whole time, in case she spotted an opportunity for a good photo. She took several of the food. She left the pictures in a pile, safely out of the way of the kitchen chaos so everyone could look at them later.

Finally, everything was ready, and Veronica’s mother called everyone to the table. JD sidled up next to Veronica, and she was relieved to see that he didn’t look too traumatized. In fact, he was looking at the food with undisguised wonder. “Is this all for us?”

Veronica laughed, “Yeah, of course, and there’s still more in the kitchen if we run out.”

JD swallowed hard, “I think we should pretend to be married next year.”

That did nothing to stop her giggles, though she tried to contain them before her family noticed their flirting. “You’re acting like you haven’t eaten in days.”

A shadow passed over his face, and Veronica wished she could take back her words, though she wasn’t sure why they’d hurt him. He shrugged, no longer smiling. “It’s been years since I had a homemade meal.”

Veronica reached out to squeeze his hand in an attempt to comfort him. Their touching wasn’t as fake as she had expected it to be; instead, it felt completely natural.

 

Dinner started off fine. Everyone was mostly too distracted by the food, wine and conversation to say much to JD or Veronica, which was how she preferred it. When someone did direct a question at her “boyfriend” he answered surprisingly well. JD was an expert at turning the conversation around so he didn’t have to talk about himself.

Inevitably, the talk at the table turned to politics, and things escalated fast. Soon, Veronica’s uncle John was practically shouting about economic policies. Veronica’s dad was calmer, but no less stubborn. Veronica herself was mortified and trying very hard not to look at JD. He must think she was related to a bunch of crazy hicks.

“John, I’m sorry, but history simply doesn’t show that—“

“Shut the hell up about history! I’m talking about right here, right now!” Her uncle slammed his fist on the table, startling everyone.

Veronica glanced at JD, hoping to find some reassurance in his eyes, but he had gone pale. His eyes were wide and he was frozen. It was the first time she’d seen him so still, and it was unnerving. He looked scared or sick, something was definitely wrong. Thinking fast, Veronica toppled her water glass into his lap.

“Shoot, JD I’m so sorry, here let’s go in the kitchen and dry that off.” He looked confused, but he followed her out of the room without saying anything.

As soon as they were away from the table, Veronica could breath again. JD didn’t seem much better. She reached up and brushed his hair off his slightly sweaty forehead. “Are you alright?”

He nodded, still not speaking, but it was a relief to see his eyes actually focusing on her. “Sorry… I um, hate loud noises.” He tensed and ducked his head.

_He’s having a panic attack. Shit, what do I do?_ “Is it okay to touch you?” He really seemed like he needed a hug, but she didn’t want to alarm him more.

JD nodded again, and she wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, you shouldn’t have even been here.”

She must have done something right, because he hugged her back, resting his cheek on her hair. “I’m fine.”

He clearly wasn’t. Veronica could still hear his racing heartbeat, but it was good to hear him talk. “It’s okay not to be. I’m sorry for what happened.” Though she was curious, she didn’t ask why he hated loud noises so much. He didn’t owe her an explanation. She held him quietly, waiting for his heart rate and breathing to return to normal.

Finally, they did. He pulled out of the hug, looking a little sheepish. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, really. I’m glad you’re okay.” It was tempting to touch him again, just to rub his shoulder in reassurance or something. But the hug had confused her and made her feel awkward around him, so she resisted the urge.

“Veronica…” He paused for a few long seconds, “Thank you. For getting me out of there. For being here.”

She smiled and ducked her head to hide her blush. “Anytime. And you don’t have to come back tomorrow. I would understand…”

“Will there be more food?” He was almost smiling, and she felt her lips curl up too when she said there would be. “Then I’m coming.”

She squealed out loud, her excitement taking her by surprise. It was worth it to see him smile for real, and she reached for the camera quickly, snapping a picture of him mid-laugh.

Veronica tucked it into her pocket instead of adding it to the pile of photos.


	4. Duke the Halls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to leave a note but I'm on a time crunch. I apologize if there's more errors in this than usual I didn't have time for my normal read-through. Check back later, I'm hoping to have another chapter out tonight. Merry Christmas and Enjoy!

 

JD woke up the next morning to the sound of his phone buzzing.

_VS: Just wanted to thank you again for last night, I really appreciate it. Please tell me if you don’t want to come back, I would understand._

He looked at Veronica’s text for a long minute, considering his answer. After his little freak-out at the dinner table, he was surprised she even wanted him back. Still, she’d been kinder to him then than anyone ever had been, and he couldn’t help feeling that he owed her. And even if he didn’t, he would still want to go back. He had suspected—or maybe just hoped— that getting to know her would help him get over his feelings for her. He’d had no such luck. If anything, the time he’d spent with her had made him want her even more.

_JD: I want to come back._

His reply might have been a little too terse, but he didn’t want to talk about what had happened last night. He was grateful that she hadn’t asked about his panic attack; talking about his mother was too hard. The many wounds left by what happened were still raw after four years, and he didn’t want to explain all that to Veronica.

And aside from the incident at dinner he’d had a pretty nice time. The discovery that Veronica’s grandmother was actually the head of the Historic Buildings Association had been hilarious. JD had chosen not to inform her that the hotel she was so devotedly trying to save was likely going to be strapped with thermals in a matter of months, and by his father no less. When he’d told her he was glad someone was trying to take care of that, he hadn’t been lying. After all, it was because of her and her association that JD was allowed to stay in Sherwood. And the more he got to know Veronica, the more convinced he was that that was a good thing.

_VS: OMG THANK YOU!_

JD couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiastic reply. For a single second, he let himself think that maybe it meant she liked him. Surely that wasn’t the sort of reply you gave to someone who was just a friend? But he wasn’t even sure she thought of him as a friend. For all he knew, he was little more than a partner on a project to her. But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about last night.

She’d hugged him.

What he’d needed most was to not be alone, and she’d somehow understood it. She’d held him until he pulled away, asking for nothing. He’d loved her more in that moment than he’d ever loved anyone and he was absolutely fucked because of it.

With a sigh, JD dragged himself out of bed. It was no use pining after Veronica (not that that stopped him). He’d slept late and by the time he got out of the shower, his dad was long gone, and the kitchen was depressingly empty. Impulsively, he sent Veronica a picture of his barren cupboards.

_JD: Save me_

_VS: jeez, you weren’t kidding. I’ll make sure there’s enough food for you tonight :)_

JD smiled at his phone, feeling vaguely foolish and unable to help it as he carefully cut some small flecks of mold off his bread before he toasted it.

 

Time was exceptionally hard to kill. JD spent a couple hours pacing his house, unable to sit still long enough to watch TV or mess with his computer. Eventually he gave up and took the bike to one of the three places in town he ever bothered going.

Sherwood’s public library was a dated brick building badly in need of repairs, but it was warm inside and the staff was friendly. Though he found a couple books fairly immediately, he wandered the rows of shelves for almost an hour. Like 7/11, small town libraries were fairly consistent and they had long been a source of comfort. One of the first things he did upon arriving in a new town was acquire a library card, and once they left, he stored it in a shoebox. They were the only mementos he’d ever bothered with.

Leaving the little haven was already unpleasant enough, but it became infinitely more so when he heard two familiar voices.

“Give it to us, Heather!”

“Yeah, Heather, do what he says!”

Looking discreetly around the corner of the building, JD spotted Kurt and Ram with an unfortunately cornered Heather. It was the short redheaded Heather, and JD had to wrack his brains for her last name. Duke. Heather Duke, Veronica’s favorite Heather.

The jocks were holding her shoulders and leaning in close. Despite her size, Heather was resolute. “Fuck off. I’m not giving you anything. Let me go!”

Kurt gave Heather another little shake, and JD couldn’t help stepping in. “What the fuck is this?” He growled, moving out of his hiding place.

Kurt and Ram’s heads jerked up to look at him, their expressions startled and guilty. They didn’t let go of Heather.

“I’ll repeat myself,” JD said slowly, ensuring his words got through their thick skulls, “What. The fuck. Is. This.”

Kurt and Ram exchanged glances, silently deciding they didn’t like their odds. They sprinted away without a word. JD watched them leave with only mild interest. “Damn it, I was going to make them apologize.”

Decidedly ungrateful, Heather glared at him. “I didn’t need your help.”

JD shrugged, “Okay,” And turned to go. He hadn’t really expected her to thank him. She was a Heather and he was a psycho, it wasn’t likely that they’d ever be friends.

He made it a couple steps before he noticed the book on the ground. “ _A Tale of Two Cities._ Is this yours?” JD held it out to her.

Heather took it and glanced at the cover, fondness softening her features. “Yeah. I dropped it when the grabbed me.” The hostility she’d greeted him with had melted away, leaving him staring at a lonely, bullied girl.

“It’s my favorite Dickens,” He said, nodding at the book in her hands.

This must have been the right thing to say, because Heather actually smiled at him. “Me too! Romance, intrigue, sacrifice, and the French Revolution, it has everything I love.” She laughed and he joined in.

His damned curiosity got the better of him, though and he ruined it. “What were they bothering you about, anyway?”

Heather’s laughter vanished and she rolled her eyes. “They wanted the name and number of my dealer, but Ram’s dad is a cop, I’m not telling them a thing.”

That Heather had a dealer was a little surprising, but he didn’t comment on it. JD just nodded and let the conversation lapse into awkward silence.

“So… you and Veronica, huh?” Her hazel eyes were intense on his and he froze.

Stuttering wasn’t like him, but it happened anyway. “Um, I… well, I guess…” Was it worse to tell her it was fake or to tell her they were actually dating?

Heather rolled her eyes, “Really smooth. You don’t have to lie about it, I already know. It seemed pretty unlikely that you guys are actually working on a French project together, because you’re in German with me.”

 _Well shit._ “Yeah… um, it’s kind of a recent thing.”

“Heather won’t like it. She was pretty pissed when Veronica kept talking about you when you first got here. I mean, I thought it was annoying too, but Heather gave her _so_ much shit for liking a psycho. Honestly, I thought she’d gotten over it until you showed up at the table the other day with puppy dog eyes.”

JD bit back a childish instinct to insist that he did not have puppy dog eyes. He was still reeling from the information that Veronica had talked about him at the beginning of the year. _You stupid asshole if you’d just made your move back then you’d be dating her for real right now!_

Heather shrugged, “Just make sure you keep it quiet. I’ve seen what Heather does to people who cross her and Veronica is on thin ice. You should tell her to be careful.”

JD nodded. Heather started to walk away, so he rushed to catch up with her. “Do you need a ride home?”

She sighed, “I don’t want to go home, my parents are pissing me off. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know somewhere a seventeen year old can get ahold of a few beers, would you?”

He could just say no, could just walk away and never speak to Heather again, but she intrigued him. She was Veronica’s friend, and in two minutes of conversation she’d proved herself to be completely different from what he’d thought.

So he took a risk. “Yeah, actually I do, there’s a catch though.”

“What is it?”

“My company.”

 

* * *

 

 Veronica spent the morning unsuccessfully avoiding her relatives. They were everywhere, and try as she might; there was no escaping them. She managed to snag a quiet breakfast, but after that her mother told her to make sure her cousins were entertained.

It was actually fortunate that she did, because she found them snooping around her bedroom. “What the hell are you doing in here?” Her room was her sanctuary, and their intrusion felt violating. Veronica was ready to snap before she heard their explanation.

“We were looking for your friend’s phone number.” Bryce didn’t even bother trying to lie about the fact that he was a letch.

Troy smirked, “Yeah, Heather’s hot.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” Veronica pushed her hair out of her face and wished JD was there. He provided a perfect buffer between her and her family, and whether or not they would admit it, Bryce and Troy were noticeably intimidated by him.

She found that very satisfying.

It was also comforting to have him next to her. After dinner, they’d all sat in the living room to drink and talk. Her grandmother had scolded her twice for doing something “unladylike” and both times she’d wanted to get angry. JD had put his hand on her back or her knee, a show of silent support that had kept her sane. Even knowing he would be back tonight; Veronica wished he were here now.

She missed him.

It was easiest to ignore the implications of that particular feeling. JD had made his feelings for her pretty clear when she’d first asked him to do this. His blunt refusal had clearly indicated that he didn’t have those kinds of feelings for her. Veronica had missed her chance with him months ago, and she had to accept the consequences of that.

Even if he was gorgeous, and strong, and surprisingly, _beautifully_ vulnerable…

 _Keep it together, Veronica._ Even if there were a way for things to work out between them, it would be messy. The Heathers would never want her to be seen with him, and it wasn’t fair to him to keep a relationship a secret. Of course, this was an imaginary hypothetical relationship so it hardly mattered. Veronica and JD would never date. It was impossible.

And yet…

But she wouldn’t let herself go there. It would be too easy to imagine him standing at her side and helping her face the other problems in her life. Standing up to Heather Chandler would be so simple if JD stood next to her. Nothing good could come of thinking about that.

Veronica forced her cousins out of her bedroom, muttering threats of violence if they came back in. She wished she could lock her bedroom door. As Bryce and Troy retreated downstairs, Veronica’s grandmother arrived and asked to speak with Veronica.

This couldn’t be good.

Lydia Sawyer was a formidable woman, despite her slight build and fragile appearance. Something about her glittering dark eyes betrayed a fierce inner strength Veronica only hoped she would inherit one day. Though if she did, she promised herself she would never use it to scold her granddaughters about ladylike behavior.

“I want to speak to you about this boy.” Her grandmother’s tone did not leave room for argument. “Are things serious?”

To this woman, ‘serious’ probably meant ‘headed towards marriage’. “I don’t know. I like him a lot, I guess.” It was only as she spoke those words aloud that she realized how alarmingly true they were. She floated through the rest of the conversation, barely thinking about her replies as her grandmother asked about the future and her grades. The same words just kept repeating over and over in Veronica’s head.

_I like JD. A lot._

* * *

 

Heather Duke was surprisingly easy to kill time with, JD found. She was funny and smart and they both enjoyed reading classic literature. They spent nearly half an hour hotly debating Ophelia’s death in Hamlet (JD was convinced it was more of a happy accident than an intentional suicide, Heather demanded that he allow Ophelia to have just a little agency since she didn’t have any anywhere else). Aside from time spent with Veronica, it was the most fun he’d had in ages.

"Won't your dad mind?” Heather asked, gesturing to the beers in their hands.

JD laughed, “No. He doesn’t give a damn what I do. Hell, he might try to sit down and join us.”

“Oh my god, that sounds great. I would give anything to have my parents be chill like that.” The barely disguised longing in her eyes was sad.

He shrugged, “It has its ups and downs, I guess.”

They fell silent for a little while before Heather broke it. “Can I ask you something?”

"Shoot.” He took a sip of beer and waited for her question.

“What’s it like, being with Veronica?”

It was a strange question, and one he felt bad answering. He would have to lie, and somehow lying to Heather felt wrong. JD remembered what Veronica had said about making their relationship seem real by telling the truth as much as possible. “It’s good. She’s really perceptive and funny. She’s really easy to be around, but you already know that.”

Heather smiled sadly, “Yeah I do.”

JD heard the door open and close and turned, raising his beer to greet his father.

Bud glanced at the can, “Did you get into the hard stuff?”

"No, that’s all yours.” JD rolled his eyes slightly at Heather, who was watching the whole exchange with blatant confusion.

Bud looked over and noticed Heather for the first time, “Is this the girl?”

JD shook his head, “No, this is Heather, she’s a friend of Veronica’s.” And his friend too, he supposed, though he didn’t say it.

“Are you pretending to date her too? Shit, you should turn this into a business.” With that, Bud wandered into his den, leaving JD with Heather.

It was impossible for Heather not to have noticed what Bud had said, so JD braced himself for the fallout.

To his surprise, Heather burst out laughing. She didn’t stop. She just kept on laughing for at least a couple minutes, wiping tears from her eyes. Finally she managed to get control of herself enough to speak. “ _Pretending?_ Holy shit, you and Veronica aren’t actually dating.” She dissolved into laughter once more. “That’s… that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard! I mean, you’re so clearly in love with her, and she thinks it’s all fake.”

JD rolled his eyes, “Yeah, thanks Heather. I really needed you to articulate that.” Suddenly, hanging out with Heather wasn’t fun.

Heather finally sobered, her face somehow both bitter and sympathetic. “Look, you aren’t the only pathetic one here. I have this enormous crush on my best friend, so I get it.”

It took JD too long to realize what she meant. “Veronica?” Heather nodded. “Does she know?”

“No one knows. I get made fun of enough, thank you very much. Do you really think I need them to start calling me Heather Dyke on top of all of it?”

"Why would you tell _me_?”

Heather snorted, “Mutually assured destruction. You tell her about my crush, and I’ll tell her about yours.”

That made him laugh a little, even if it was wry. “Then we can fight to the death for her affections?”

“To the victors go the spoils,” And they bumped their cans together in an odd kind of toast.

JD made a stab at optimism, something that didn’t come naturally to him. “At least we’re both sort of close to her…”

Heather shook her head, “Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” He couldn’t argue with her.

Shortly after, Heather stood up, “Thanks, JD. That was actually kind of nice, difficult as that is to admit, but I have to motor. My parents will be wondering where I am.”

“Heather?” She turned to look at him. “You don’t need them. Heather and Heather, I mean. If you can’t trust your friends enough to be yourself around them, are they really your friends? Just leave them.” Long ago, he’d said something similar to Veronica.

Heather shook her head; her guard was back up. “That’s not your decision.” And she turned and walked out the door, head held high.

JD sighed and went upstairs to get ready for his second dinner at Veronica’s house.

 

It started off normal—or as normal as Veronica’s family ever seemed to be— everyone was gathered in the living room. JD took his seat next to Veronica, smiled and nodded politely whenever anyone said anything to him. He occasionally reached over to pat Veronica’s shoulder or squeeze her hand whenever someone said something offensive. Overall, the time before dinner went off without a hitch. It wasn’t until it was time to get ready for dinner that things started going wrong.

Badly wrong.

Veronica’s grandmother asked Veronica to start setting the table. JD jumped up to help her and they reached the doorway at the exact same second.

“You’re under the mistletoe!” He thought the exclamation came from Veronica’s mother, but it was hard to tell.

“Oh, how sweet!”

JD panicked and looked at Veronica, who was also frozen in place.

“Well, go on! Kiss her!”

 


	5. Simply Having a Wonderful Shitscream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up super late so I could keep my promise! Merry Christmas, I'm hoping to have another chapter done at some point on Christmas Day so be on the lookout for that. Enjoy!

There didn’t seem to be a lot of options. Everyone was watching them, and it would be strange to refuse to kiss each other. JD didn’t know what to do, and Veronica wasn’t doing anything. As seconds ticked away like hours, JD finally made a decision. He kissed Veronica quickly and softly.

It was disappointing.

He’d imagined— and even dreamed about— kissing Veronica on multiple occasions, but in his mind, she’d always been a willing and enthusiastic participant. This… was not how it was. She held perfectly still, and didn’t respond at all before he pulled away. When it was over, she pulled away and disappeared into the kitchen. For an instant, JD considered pulling the offensive plant off of the doorframe and tossing it into the fire, but he resisted his destructive urge. Instead, he followed Veronica out the door.

She was leaning against the counter, her head in her hands. “Veronica…” He realized he should have planned out what he was going to say before he started. “I’m sorry.” It was lame but at least it was true.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes, and he wanted to reach for her. He didn’t. “I’m mad at them. I’m mad that they think that it’s okay to make two people do that. It was stupid and invasive.”

JD couldn’t help the guilt that rose up in his chest like bile. No matter what she said, he’d been a part of that. He shrugged helplessly and repeated, “I’m sorry.”

Veronica shrugged and shook her head, but managed to smile at him. “I’m sure that was as bad for you as it was for me. Honestly, you should stop coming to my house, it’s miserable.”

“I want to be here.” He replied truthfully, “You need the backup and I need the food.” That made her smile for real, and he felt some of his guilt ease. “Still, I feel like shit for kissing a girl who clearly didn’t want it. I never thought I’d be that kind of guy.”

Veronica crossed the kitchen to grab his hands, “You aren’t that kind of guy, I know that.”

It felt nice to stand there holding her hands, so JD didn’t pull away. He stood sill and watched her face. Somehow the room felt a little too warm and a little too tense. He knew he should say something but no words came out. Saying the wrong thing would ruin this fragile moment, and he wanted to keep it exactly as it was.

But Veronica pulled away, and he wished he’d said what he’d been thinking. It might have ruined the moment, but at least it would have been said. The moment was ruined anyway.

_I wish that wasn’t our first kiss, Veronica. I wish I could rewrite it so that we kissed for the first time in the 7/11 in September and I wish never let you go._

“We should set the table, everyone is waiting.” Veronica ducked her head and took a pile of plates into the dining room. JD followed with the silverware, mentally kicking himself for not speaking up.

As soon as everyone was called into the dining room and had acquired food, Veronica’s uncle John (JD had discovered he was Troy’s father) stood up to make a toast.

“As always, I’m so glad we can gather together as a family. And this year I’m happy to welcome Veronica’s new addition.” He smiled at JD, “You know, we’re especially glad to meet you because we were starting to think Veronica was… y’know.” He shrugged at laughed.

JD’s eyes flicked to Veronica and he saw her mortification painted on her face. He remembered how they’d humiliated her earlier. Every angry teenager instinct to rebel suddenly rose up in him with a vengeance. And he looked Veronica’s uncle right in the eye and deadpanned, “I don’t know what you mean.”

John Sawyer chuckled awkwardly and shrugged, “you know, she’s…” he cleared his throat, “You know.” He smiled as if that should have cleared everything up.

JD didn’t let him off the hook. “I still don’t get it. What did you think Veronica was?”

Veronica was hiding her fits of laughter in her napkin, and JD had to fight the urge to wink at her. Her uncle’s flustered response was hilarious, and it kept getting more so as JD refused to back down. Finally, the man gave up and sat down without finishing his toast.

* * *

 

Veronica doubted she would ever be as grateful to anyone as she was to JD for everything he’d done for her the past couple days. His unflinching challenge to her uncle was quite possibly the bravest and most amazing thing she’d ever seen, easily replacing him beating up Kurt and Ram at the top of the list.

Dinner passed easily after that, her grandmother only made a couple rude comments about JD’s dad and his business, and JD didn’t seem remotely bothered. After dinner, Veronica’s mother told her she and JD could spend some time together away from the family if they wanted.

Veronica pretended she didn’t know it was just an excuse to get them out of the room so they could talk about them.

“Just keep your door open!” Her mother insisted. Veronica agreed, and seizing JD’s hand, got them the hell out of there.

Her room was its usual oasis from the chaos of her house. A golden glow from the Christmas lights outside filtered through her window, and the room smelled faintly of the cookies she’d stashed up here earlier.

“You have a secret food stash?” JD asked when she held the box of cookies out to him.

"Only when my cousins are around.” She snagged a cookie and took a bite, smiling at him around her full mouth. “You were brilliant earlier. Thank you so much!”

JD laughed, “Anything for my fake girlfriend. And anyway, I think I owed you for the mistletoe incident.”

Her face grew serious, “JD, it’s fine. I told you, I know you aren’t that type of guy.”

“How do you know that?” He avoided her eyes, glaring at the ground. “You don’t know me that well, Veronica.”

She shrugged, pretending to be unperturbed by his brooding. “Two reasons: one, a guy who was actually an asshole wouldn’t care so much about not acting like one. Two, I know about the locker room fight.”

Veronica watched his face carefully to see his reaction to that, but it betrayed very little. “How’d you find out?”

“Dennis. If you give a five to the Foodless Fund, he’ll tell you pretty much anything. He’s a very reliable source of gossip. He was there, and he told me what they were saying, thanks for sticking up for me, even back when you didn’t know me.”

It had been a major source of drama for a few weeks at school. JD had attacked Kurt and Ram in the locker room, supposedly unprovoked. Veronica had been curious about it because as far as she could tell, JD had never started a fight at Westerburg. He’d only ever fought back when someone else picked a fight, and sometimes he just walked away. It seemed unlikely to her that he would just lose it one day an attack them. Dennis had told her some of what they were saying, and she’d had to ask him to stop. They’d been describing some disgusting, detailed, and anatomically impossible things they’d like to do to her.

And JD had stopped them. It meant a lot to her to know that he would do that for someone he barely knew. Maybe violence wasn’t the answer, but his heart was in the right place, and she felt safer somehow, knowing that he would fight for her.

“They were being horrible,” JD raked a hand through his hair and he looked uncomfortable, “Jesus, Veronica, the shit they were saying about you. It was foul!” He stood up and started pacing.

Veronica didn’t move from her seat on the bed, she just let him work himself out for a bit. “I’m not surprised they said it. I don’t want to bring up bad stuff, but thanks for sticking up for me, it really means a lot.”

He slowed his rapid laps across her room, “You would do the same for me.”

“I would.”

JD stopped pacing to look at her wall, it was covered in pictures of her with the Heathers, and a couple of her with Betty from before she’d moved. She hoped he didn’t notice the picture of him she’d tacked up there yesterday.

“You look good in purple.” He said, nodding at the sweater she was wearing. “I mean, you look good in blue too, but…”

Veronica rolled her eyes, “Heather is just a little weird about our clothes, that’s all. She thinks we look better when we’re perfectly color-coded.”

"She dresses you up like dolls and bosses you around for no reason, then she threatens you if you don’t do what she wants. She isn’t a friend.”

Veronica glared at him, she knew her friends weren’t exactly ideal but that was hardly his business. “How would you know? You don’t have friends.”

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. He had shut down, turning his back on her to glare once more at the wall of pictures. “Sure.”

“JD…” She stood up and walked over to him, reaching out to touch his arm, “I’m sorry. I know my friends are shitty and I don’t know why I defend them. I guess it’s just because they’re all I’ve got, but that’s a bad excuse.” She shrugged, helpless to explain her friends to him.

JD shrugged and turned around, “It’s alright, I get it. I might do some shitty things if it meant having friends.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” She narrowed her eyes at him, but couldn’t keep the smile off her face. They both knew he would never sell out to someone like Heather Chandler.

“Okay, probably not. But I might spend time with them to see what kind of rebellion I could get away with.” He gave her a dangerous smile, “You should try it.”

Veronica flirted back boldly, “Maybe I will.”

The tension from the kitchen was back. Unspoken words bushed against each other in Veronica’s mind, begging to be made audible. But she kept silent. JD was nice to her, but his obvious distaste for her friends made it pretty clear that he didn’t think of her as a potential (real) girlfriend. Casual flirting was one thing, saying any of the things she was thinking would be completely different. She drew a mental line in the sand and swore she wouldn’t cross it.

 

Later, she watched JD ride away on his motorcycle from her bedroom window and wished…

* * *

 

The day before Christmas Eve dawned cold and sunny. JD woke up and wandered downstairs shirtless, still in his pajama pants, seeking coffee. There were a few things he and his dad never allowed themselves to run out of. On any given day they might be out of bread or milk, but they always had coffee and probably a few beers.

The pot was already on and mostly full, meaning Bud was awake and probably wandering around the house. JD didn’t bother going to greet him, he just dug a mostly clean mug out of the sink and got himself some caffeine. The newspaper was laying out, so he started to sift through that, looking for something moderately interesting.

“Morning.” Bud raised his mug towards his son and started to fuss with the stove.

“Is today a breakfast day?” Bud grunted in the affirmative. That in and of itself was practically a holiday, and JD smiled and settled in for a slow morning of watching his dad cook and burn several batches of eggs and bacon before he managed to make something edible.

The process was interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming and a frantic Veronica darting into the kitchen. She was clearly livid, and it looked like she’d run all the way to his house.

“What’s it called when you murder your cousins?”

“Homicide.” He took a sip of his coffee. “How did you get in here?”

She shrugged as though nothing was abnormal, “The door was unlocked. I’m serious, I’m going to kill them.”

Bud was watching this exchange with badly disguised interest, seemingly unnoticed by Veronica. “Are _you_ the girlfriend?”

Veronica finally looked over at him and waved a little, “Hi Mr. Dean, I’m Veronica, nice to meet you.” She turned back to JD, “I mean it!”

"What did they do?” He knew Veronica well enough to know that she wouldn’t get this angry over nothing.

"They put a _live fucking mouse_ in my BED!” A flush had risen in her cheeks and her small hands were curled into fists. JD was surprised that she had the ability to look so terrifying.

“What did you do with it?”

“With what?” She looked at him curiously, her rage interrupted for the moment.

“With the mouse?” He kind of dreaded the answer. The poor thing hadn’t done anything to anyone and it wasn’t the mouse’s fault she was afraid of them.

“It’s still there, I didn’t want to touch it.”

JD rolled his eyes and tried to hold in an exasperated sigh, “Veronica, you have a cat! Pretty soon you’re going to have a dismembered mouse in your bed.”

Veronica blanched and looked at him with the same pleading eyes that had gotten him into this mess in the first place. “Help me?”

He didn’t bother containing his groan, but he stood up to put clothes on. “Going to have to take a rain check on breakfast, Dad.”

Bud nodded with raised eyebrows, having watched the whole exchange. “I see that.”

Veronica beamed and threw her arms around JD, “You’re the best fake boyfriend ever!”

JD rolled his eyes and didn’t disguise his bitterness. “Yeah, I know.”

 

“Veronica, that’s not a mouse, it’s a hamster.” JD stood over Veronica’s bed, looking at the—thankfully not dismembered—rodent. It was small and a pale sort of orange, undeniably adorable. “They probably got it from a pet store just to freak you out.”

She glared at him, “Well it worked.”

The poor animal was terrified, and he had to be careful not to scare it any more when he picked it up. “Shoe box?” Veronica handed him the box she’d retrieved from her closet and he stowed the hamster in there. “I’m going to keep him.”

Veronica laughed, “Okay, let’s go get him a cage or something, it’ll be my Christmas present for you.”

“You don’t have to get me anything, I don’t have something for you…” Somehow exchanging gifts seemed a little too real for the strange relationship they had developed.

“Just let me name him!”

  

Hours later, JD sat on his bed practicing a song on his guitar and watching his hamster play in its new cage. “Well Slushie, at least Veronica can’t say I don’t have friends anymore.”

           


	6. Isn't This Night Supposed to Be Silent?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! I really hope you all like this chapter, I think it's pretty good and it's the reason I wrote this fic to begin with. Enjoy!

Veronica’s first thought when she woke up on Christmas Eve was one of excitement, but it was followed by a sharp, surprising stab of disappointment. She wouldn’t see JD today. Remembering the line she’d drawn, Veronica pushed that thought to the very back of her mind. It wasn’t worth considering.

Breakfast was the usual mess of everyone pretending to be cheerful. The kitchen was over-crowded with aunts trying to help, but mostly just taking up space and dithering. It took Veronica fifteen minutes to get the two ingredients she needed to make herself cereal.

“Veronica, don’t eat too much, you’ll spoil your brunch.” Her mother scolded. Veronica rolled her eyes, but kept herself from telling her mom that brunch wasn’t real because nothing was real.

JD was rubbing off on her more than she realized.

Bryce and Troy came up from the basement, laughing and elbowing each other, probably responding to a crude joke one of them had told. Veronica rolled her eyes and didn’t greet them. She hadn’t said a single word to either of them since the mouse incident, despite her mother’s insistence that she should “be the bigger person” and let it go. But Veronica wasn’t that kind of person. No, she wanted to get back at them.

“Aw, Veronica, did you make that for us? Thank you!” Bryce seized her bowl and snatched it out from under her, dashing out of the room before she could retaliate.

“Mom!” Veronica turned, fuming, to the only higher authority available to her. “They stole my breakfast!”

Her mother sighed, “Veronica, they’re just trying to get a rise out of you, if you just ignore it, they’ll stop.”

Veronica gave up and stormed out of the kitchen, she would have to face them again in a few minutes, but she needed a moment to herself. She retreated to her dad’s study. It was a quiet room, full of books and papers, and the only comfortably messy room in the house, aside from her own bedroom.

Her father had had the same idea, and he was reclining on the couch with a newspaper. “Sit down, Veronica, take a break for a second.”

Veronica smiled and did so, and her dad set his paper aside. “Are you hiding from certain members of our family?” He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting for her reply.

Trying to keep the guilt out of her voice—she had no reason to feel guilty— she nodded, “Yeah.”

Jim Sawyer smiled easily, “Me too, don’t worry, they won’t come in here.”

Veronica lifted a book off of a side table and began idly flipping through it, mostly just looking at the pictures that were scattered throughout. Her dad allowed her a few minutes of that before he broke the silence. “I have been meaning to talk to you about this boy.”

Could she not have one moment of _rest_? “What about him?” She didn’t mean to sound so defensive, but JD didn’t deserve all the shit that people said about him.

He chuckled, “Don’t worry, I like him. Your mother and I had heard some… troubling things about him, but he seems polite, friendly, and most importantly, he adores you.”

Veronica’s breath caught at that, and for a second she wondered if it was true. Could her dad be seeing something she refused to? She had to shake herself to clear her head. JD had made his feelings about girls like her perfectly clear, and her father was still talking so she tried to pay attention.

“I do have to ask about the fights though, I can’t imagine all of it is a rumor?” Her dad peered at her over his glasses, in full disapproving professor mode.

Veronica crossed her arms, a pose she’d been adopting since she was six to indicate that she was about to stubbornly refuse to listen to anything anyone said. “He only started one of those fights, the rest of the time he was just defending himself! And the one fight he started was defending… someone else, so it doesn’t count!” She didn’t want to tell her father that those guys had been joking about her, but something about the way he looked at her made her think he already knew.

“I understand. I’m just glad you found someone smart enough to keep up with you, I never thought any of those boys your mother talked about were good enough for you.” He smiled kindly and ruffled Veronica’s hair.

Veronica wanted to tell him that JD was more than smart; he was gentle and tough and brave, he was passionate and sarcastic and kind. He was exactly what she wanted.

 _Oh… Shit._  

* * *

As with most things in JD’s life, a loud crash started the problem. He leapt off of his bed in a panic and dashed downstairs, the illogical part of his brain bracing him for what he might find. The noise he’d heard was nothing like a gunshot, but all the same it brought him back to the first time. He had to shake the image out of his head before he could keep moving.

Of course Bud was fine. He had just toppled a couple of stacked boxes he’d kept in his den, spilling their contents across the floor. Among them was a smaller box that contained a few items JD had thought he’d never see again.

The photo album was at the top.

JD could barely look at the image of a smiling family that had been pasted lovingly to the cover of the album. His mother on a good day, hugging him and beaming at the camera, his father smiling down at both of them, and his own pre-teen, reluctant, embarrassed half smile. His breath caught in his throat and he had to blink away unexpected tears.

His father was also staring at the book, and he was braver than JD, picking it up to look more closely at the people on the cover. They may as well have been strangers for all that they resembled the two people in the room.

Bud took the album to the living room, with a quick stop at the kitchen to get a beer. He drank while he flipped through it, and JD watched without saying a word. The first beer was finished before Bud had turned five pages. The second didn’t last two. Then he switched to whiskey. At that point, JD returned to his room, unable to watch his father wallow in grief and alcohol.

The hours passed and the sky grew dark, JD knew things downstairs were getting worse. When the first bottle hit the wall, he bit back his instinctive terror, but even headphones and a pillow weren’t enough to muffle the sound and his panic began to rise.

As snow began to fall outside, JD tried to remember how to breathe.

* * *

Veronica was dreaming that she was trapped inside a room full of wind chimes and she couldn’t get out. Slowly, she became aware of the fact that she was actually asleep and the sound was coming from her phone. Without opening her eyes she clumsily snatched up her phone to see who was calling her at midnight on Christmas Eve.

“JD, what on earth?” She murmured, barely coherent and still sleep-addled.

He sounded out of breath and was speaking too quickly. “Veronica, shit, I’m sorry I woke you up, I just… I really need somewhere to go.”

Veronica sat up, finally waking up enough to pay attention. “JD, slow down. Just tell me what’s going on.”

"My dad got really drunk and he’s throwing things around and breaking stuff. I can’t stay there, V, it’s just too fucking loud.” His distress was evident, though he’d slowed down so she could understand him. “I’ve been walking around but it’s snowing and I’m really cold—“

“JD,” She interrupted quickly, “Are you okay? Are you safe? Never mind, just come over and wait under my window, I’ll let you in.” He agreed and she hung up her phone. She remembered how anxious he’d gotten when her uncle had slammed his fist on the table, and wondered how bad things must have been at his house for him to decide it was better to venture out into the snow.

She waited by her window, watching the darkened street carefully for any sign of him. Soon she made out his dark figure stalking down the sidewalk, coat flapping dramatically around him. Veronica waited until he was under the window to pull out her emergency ladder. Her parents had put it there to make sure she could get out in case the house caught fire. Once or twice she’d thought about using it to sneak out. She’d never thought she would need it for this.

She opened the window and tossed it down to him. JD didn’t hesitate before pulling himself up the side of the house, rung by rung.

Veronica helped pull him into the room, grateful for an excuse to touch him. He was pale and shaking, whether from the cold or the panic, she didn’t know. His coat and shirt were soaked. “Take those off, you’re going to freeze.”

He obediently removed his coat, shoes, socks, and shirt, and Veronica felt her cheeks heat as she became aware of the fact that JD was half-naked in her bedroom late at night. She’d seen him shirtless the other day in his kitchen, but her discovery earlier made everything feel different. Suddenly she felt herself dancing around the line she’d drawn between them, and getting more and more tempted to try to cross it.

To distract herself from his extremely toned chest, she grabbed the quilt off her bed and handed it to him, careful not to look him in the eyes. “Here, you need to get warm.”

“I’m fine.” JD whispered, the first words he’d spoken since he climbed through the window. “I just need somewhere to sleep, do you mind if I use your floor?”

Veronica’s room was not that much warmer than outside, thanks to the very old heating system. “I’m not making you sleep on the floor, you’ll freeze.” She realized that she’d already made her decision— had made it ages ago without realizing it— and she didn’t care if she couldn’t come back from it. “Sleep on the bed with me.”

“No, I can’t… I,” He hesitated.

Veronica hid her hurt feelings behind an eye roll, “If you hate being close to me that much, _I’ll_ sleep on the floor, but you aren’t going to. It’s up to you.”

He rushed to correct her, grabbing her hand, “It’s not that, not at all! I just don’t want you to be… uncomfortable.”

She smiled softly and reached up to push his slightly damp hair out of his face, “I’m never uncomfortable around you.” They were standing close together, illuminated only by moonlight, and despite the cold room, the heat between them was intense.

Veronica pulled away before she could do something stupid, like kiss him. _He’s not really your boyfriend, Veronica; he’s just your friend. Don’t make it weird._ She dug through her closet until she found a suitably baggy t-shirt for him. After handing it to him, she busied herself with the blankets and pillows on the bed, making sure there was enough for both of them. When she turned around, he was wearing her faded, too big Westerburg shirt and his underwear. Somehow she felt calmer now that he was wearing a shirt, but her cheeks were still far warmer than necessary.

The awkwardness was still present when they climbed into her bed, at first settling as far from one another as they could. But Veronica felt like a magnet was pulling her towards him, and she moved just a little closer, unable to resist.

“You’re still shaking,” She whispered, piercing the silent darkness.

“I’m okay, I guess I’m still a little nervous after…”

Veronica finally found the courage to ask the question that had weighed on her mind since he’d called, “Did he hurt you?”

“No,” He was quick to reassure her, “Nothing like that, he’ll feel bad about it tomorrow. It was just all the noise…” But Veronica wasn’t fooled by his words; he was downplaying his feelings. It was obvious that JD wasn’t okay.

She wanted to comfort him, wanted to help him the way she knew he would help her if the situation were reversed. So she threw caution to the wind and moved closer to him, pulling him into her arms. “It’s okay,” She whispered, “It’s okay, I’m here.”

Just like the first time she’d hugged him, he froze for a second before slowly melting into her embrace. He nuzzled into her hair, breathing deeply. “Veronica,” JD whispered and she looked up to ask what he wanted.

They were so close. With her head tilted towards him, their lips were only inches apart and for a moment the world stopped. Would he kiss her? Should she kiss him?

There was no way of knowing who made the first move, who first leaned in to close the distance between them. Maybe they both did it at the exact same instant. It didn’t matter.

Because JD was kissing her.

* * *

 

Veronica was kissing him.

It was nothing like their first kiss. There was no awkwardness, no strange dancing performance, they were just… together. She was so close he could feel her heartbeat. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. There ought to have been another word for it, because beauty alone wasn’t enough to sum up how it felt to be this like this with her.

She sat up, pulling him with her so they didn’t have to break apart. Breathing no longer seemed necessary; it was only a hindrance if it meant having to put any space between them. He cradled the back of her head as her small, soft hands stroked his back. The stress, fear, and pain that had turned his brain into a chaotic cesspool dissolved and all he could think about was Veronica. She was here. She was here and she wanted him.

At least, that’s what he wanted to believe. He wanted to imagine she was doing this because she had feelings for him; the same feelings he had for her. But… did it matter if she didn’t? This was everything he’d wanted since he’d met her.

Veronica’s hands were under his shirt now, stroking his back. He shivered, and not just because her hands were freezing. It felt better than he could have imagined. _Just forget it’s not real. Just let it happen. Just pretend for a while._ The voice in his head was insidious and demanding, and he desperately wanted to listen to it.

She pulled his shirt off and leaned in to kiss his neck, and he finally forced himself to pull away. “Fuck…” JD leaned back and turned his head away. It was too tempting to get lost in her. “Veronica, I can’t do this.” He looked up and saw the hurt in her eyes and wished he could call back his words. But he had to say this before they went too far and he couldn’t stop himself. “I can’t do this if it isn’t real.”

“What?” She was still gasping for breath, reeling from the intensity of the moment he’d ruined.

Again, he looked away, unable to meet her eyes. “I can’t do this if it’s all fake. I like you Veronica, a lot. And I can’t just… Damn it!” He couldn’t find the right words, he wasn’t even sure they existed. “I can’t do this if it doesn’t mean anything to you. I’m sorry.”

Veronica put a hand on his chin, turning his head so he was forced to meet her eyes. “JD, this means _everything_ to me. I’m in love with you.”

Her words were like fire, searing him straight down to his soul. He didn’t hesitate when he pulled her into another kiss, if possible even more heated than the first.

He could feel her smiling against his lips and he pulled her against his chest. The thin tank top she wore wasn’t enough to hide the heat from her flushed body, but it was still more than he wanted. He needed to feel her skin against his.

Breaking the kiss, he tugged at the bottom of the top, “Can I?”

Veronica didn’t let him finish before she pulled the shirt off and tossed it to the ground.

“Holy shit.” He breathed, drinking in the sight of her. She was gorgeous. Perfect. For a second he just stared, taking her in. Very carefully, he reached up to run one reverent hand over her breasts.

She shuddered and leaned in, growling, “Damn it, JD.”

JD smirked and settled his hands on her hips, leaning down to take one nipple between his teeth. That earned him a breathy moan and he couldn’t hold in a smile.

Veronica rolled her hips, grinding into him. JD continued to explore her skin with his lips, finding a fascinatingly sensitive spot just below Veronica’s earlobe. He let his hands brush over her breasts and back. Her hands wound into his hair, nails running lightly along his scalp in a way that made him melt.

“Holy god,” He whispered, “You are amazing.” He could feel her shiver in response.

She kissed him again, rolling her hips just to drive him a little crazier. He kept one hand nestled in her hair, and let the other drift down her body, stopping when he reached the waistband of her pajama pants. She looked at him, cheeks flushed and hair wild, “I’ve never done this before.”

“We don’t have to—“

She cut him off with a kiss, “I want this. I want _you_.”

JD kissed her again, and slid his hand further down so he could run one finger along her slick folds. She wasn’t delicate. He’d never thought she was, and he wasn’t about to start now, but he touched her as carefully as if she were made of porcelain. It wasn’t her he was afraid of breaking, but this moment. He couldn’t help but think he would wake up any second, alone in his room.

But he didn’t wake up when he slid one finger inside her. When her back arched and she let out a low whine, he was still here, in her room, with her. He stroked her softly, curling his finger inside her and she moaned, grinding down on his hand a little more. And she smiled. It was the smile that convinced him this was real. He never could have imagined anything so perfect.

Her lips traced his neck, his shoulders, the scars on his chest. She was washing away all the pain and fear and anger he’d carried with him for years, and he felt new, whole, _beautiful_.

As much as he hated to do it, he pulled his hand away from her so he could remove her pants; they were in his way, and he wanted to see all of her. Veronica allowed it, but not without removing his underwear too. He knew she liked things to be fair, and now they were equally bare.

JD had to remind himself that he’d done this before. It felt completely different than the other time. He was actually nervous, worried that he would do something wrong, and she wouldn’t like it. Because he wanted this to happen again— many times if possible— and he didn’t want to fuck it up the first time.

Veronica seemed to sense his hesitation and pushed down on his shoulders, straddling him and taking control. She stroked him gently a couple times before slowly, carefully sinking onto him.

_Oh. Fuck._

She was incredible. She was everything. “Veronica,” He sighed her name in reverence and then promptly forgot how to speak when she started to move.

The smile was back, and coupled with her messy hair and flushed skin; it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. JD held her hips while she set the pace and discovered what she liked best. He tried his best not to move too much so she could adjust, but his resolve snapped when she leaned over to bite his shoulder and whisper, “More,”

After that it was a frenzy of kissing and holding, skin and nails, and the incredible, enveloping feeling of _her._ They fell apart together, reaching the edge and plunging off of it without hesitation.

It took several minutes for JD to catch his breath and Veronica didn’t speak for any of them. He watched her face carefully, and couldn’t ignore the frown that had settled there.

_I’ve ruined everything. She was the best thing in my life and I fucking ruined it._

“Veronica, are you okay?” He wondered if it would be okay to pull her into his arms. Seeing her sad was killing him.

She cleared her throat and smiled at him, though he could tell it was forced. “Yeah, of course.”

“Please, V, tell me what’s wrong.” Somehow the nickname slipped out without him thinking about it.

“I guess… It’s just…” She hesitated, sighed, then finally continued, “I told you I loved you, and you didn’t say it back, and honestly that’s fine, it’s really soon and I shouldn’t expect it—“

“Veronica…” He stopped her, feeling like a complete idiot, as he often did when she was around. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed a kiss into her shoulder, “I love you.” Another kiss, this time on her collarbone. “I love you.” Her throat. “I love you.” Her jaw, “I love you.”

She seized his chin and kissed him, pulling back just enough to whisper, “You’ve made your point. I love you too.”

They fell asleep together, curled as close as they could be, happy and warm, while outside snow fell softly onto the silent street.

 


	7. Why Can't One Fucking Thing Go Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. My personal life is a bit shit right now and it got in the way. I should be back to the normal schedule now though. I hate to beg for comments, but as I said I'm going through a rough time, so if you have a minute and something to say, I'd really appreciate it. Enjoy!

Veronica woke up when JD started to stir, she rolled over and buried her face in his neck, not quite ready to give up the warmth he was providing.

He kissed her hair gently, “V, I have to go, it’s morning.”

“Mhm? What time is it?” She didn’t let go of him, and she knew he wouldn’t move unless she did.

“A little after five, I should go before your family wakes up and shoots me.” He kissed her head again and she finally dragged herself off of him. She rested her weight on her elbow and watched as he gathered the clothes he’d abandoned.

“They probably wouldn’t shoot you,” She pointed out.

JD paused getting dressed to look her in the eye, “ _Your dad_ wouldn’t shoot me, I doubt he even owns a gun. Your uncles? Absolutely do and absolutely would.”

She couldn’t argue with him. He was right. “Still, they have no right, I think someone should have to know you and treat you with respect in order to be allowed to be protective. They haven’t earned it.”

Finally finished dressing, JD sat next to her on the bed. “I hadn’t earned it when I beat the shit out of two guys in a locker room.” He kissed her forehead.

Veronica rolled her eyes but she squeezed his hand and smiled, “You earned it retroactively.”

He kissed her again, this time on the lips, long and slow. When he pulled away, they were both a little out of breath. “I really need to go.” JD didn’t stand up, or make any move to do so, and Veronica didn’t let go of him.

They sat like that, breathless and blushing, exchanging idiotic smiles for another few minutes until JD finally stood up. With a quick, whispered “I love you,” He disappeared out the window. Veronica lay back down to get a couple more hours of sleep.

Approximately thirty minutes later, Veronica’s cousins— rapidly becoming her least favorite family members— banged loudly on her door to wake her up.

“VERONICA, IT’S CHRISTMAS!”

Veronica groaned and rolled over, hauling herself into a sitting position. What she really wanted this fine Christmas morning was some goddamn sleep, having gotten relatively little last night. Still, her family wouldn’t want to be kept waiting, and she wanted to make today as conflict-free as possible. Last night had left her so happy she was fairly certain she could endure anything.

It was hard to hate Christmas in the Sawyer house. Even with all the chaos that her extended family brought with it, the high energy made it fun. Opening presents also provided a handy distraction, so no one was fighting.

Veronica’s own gift pile was growing next to her, and she still had a couple boxes to open. She had just unveiled a sweater from her Aunt Helen. “Oh my gosh, I love it!” Veronica gushed honestly, thinking of everything JD had said about rebelling. The sweater was a pleasingly vivid shade of red.

Bryce and Troy had torn through all of their presents in a few minutes, and though their parents tried to rein them in, they were clearly ready to get up and start messing around again. Veronica hoped the adults would just let them go. Rooms almost always got calmer when they were no longer in them.

Her last box was long and flat, and the paper was metallic, thick, and fancy. Veronica knew in an instant that it was from the nicest store at the mall, and she held her breath while opening it.

It was a dress. The most beautiful dress Veronica had ever seen, so much so that for a second, it took her breath away. Her mother was beaming, “I thought you might want to wear that to the McNamara’s party, if it fits.”

Veronica already knew that it would fit perfectly. This dress was exactly right in every way except for one. Heather Chandler had not approved it, and she wouldn’t if Veronica asked her to.

But nothing could have stopped her from smiling at her mother and replying, “I think I will.”

* * *

 

JD walked home across the snowy streets of Sherwood happier than he could ever remember being. He entered his house carefully and quietly; aware that his dad was probably trying to sleep off everything he’d had to drink last night.

He crept through the kitchen on his way to his room and was surprised when the pile of human at the table (his father) stood up and lunged at him, pulling him into an extremely surprising hug. “You came back!”

Trying not to offend him, but still extremely surprised by the rare show of affection, JD pulled away. “Yeah, of course I did. I live here.”

Bud allowed JD to put some distance between them, but didn’t let go of his arms. “You left last night and I thought you weren’t going to come back.”

More uncomfortable than ever, JD shrugged, “I just needed some air, so I went for a walk. I ended up staying at a friend’s house.”

Slowly, Bud perused his son’s appearance, and a smile spread across his face. JD saw the puzzle pieces fitting together in his father’s head and braced himself for his next words. “The girl?” He whistled through his teeth, and nudged JD with his elbow. “How’d it go? Everything work okay?”

JD rolled his eyes and pulled away. “Dad, you’re still drunk, go to sleep.” He helped his father onto the couch in the den and left him there, unwilling to answer any of his questions about the night with Veronica.

It had been perfect. Easily the best night of his life, and he was hoping it would be topped soon by some night that was similar, without the panic attacks. JD smiled like an idiot all the way to his room.

Slushie was asleep when he entered the room, and JD had the absurd urge to tiptoe across the floor so as not to wake him. He resisted it because it would have been pointless anyway; the bed creaked loudly when he laid down in it. He fell asleep with his shoes on, still smiling.

His phone buzzed and woke him up about two hours later.

_VS: You should come over later, my mom got you presents_

_JD: Why would your mom get me anything?_

_VS: Maybe she noticed that you wore the same sweater to both dinners and got worried that you have no clothes?_

_JD: She’s not wrong. I had to buy that sweater before the first night._

Veronica sent him an eye-rolling Emoji, followed quickly by a smiley face.

_VS: So you’ll come?_

_JD: I should check on my dad, but after that, absolutely!_

_VS: Yay!_

JD stood up and got dressed, choosing one of his old flannels rather than wearing the aforementioned sweater for a third time. Wandering downstairs, he found his father awake, sober, and frying eggs.

Bud glanced over at his son as he entered the room, “Morning. Hungry?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He accepted a full plate with gratitude; he hadn’t eaten the night before.

They settled down at the table, in a scene that was both domestic and unusual. JD couldn’t remember the last time they’d actually eaten together, both sitting together. Sometimes they ate leaning against the counter, or on the couch watching a movie, but this was… nice, actually.

“Jason- um, JD… there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

JD’s stomach dropped, and he found himself suddenly uninterested in his breakfast. Conversations that started like that were almost never good.

Bud took a deep breath. “I’ve been looking for other jobs. This one might be going bust thanks to those goddamn hags, so I need to start thinking about options.”

Something dark in JD bubbled to the surface as he realized the implications of this. “You’re telling me this now?” He was yelling, and he didn’t bother to check his volume. “Do you do this on purpose? Do you wait until I’m settling in, maybe even happy, and then decide it’s time to pack up and move? _Again?_ Jesus fucking Christ!” His breath was coming hard and fast, but he didn’t feel like he was taking in any oxygen. _Veronica. What am I going to tell Veronica?_

He raked a hand through his hair and turned back to his father, ready to shout more abuse, but he was interrupted. “Jason, JD! That’s not what I was saying. Sit down and listen for one goddamn minute, would you?” Surprised into compliance, JD did as he was instructed. “I was trying to say that I want to take a job in Cleveland. I’ll be away most days, but God knows you’re self sufficient, and we wouldn’t have to move.”

 It took a long time for those words to sink in. Eventually, his brain sifted through the superfluous and settled on the words _we wouldn’t have to move._ It was all he needed to hear. And he leapt out of his chair towards Bud.

For the second time that day, JD and his dad were hugging. It was awkward for an instant, and then it settled into something normal.  

JD pulled away first, almost giddy. “I need to go tell Veronica.” He searched around the room for his coat before remembering that he’d left it in his room.

“It’s Christmas, let the girl spend it with her family.” Bud sat down and returned to his breakfast, showing enough restraint not to roll his eyes while doing so.

“She invited me over, I wouldn’t just barge in on her family’s Christmas,” JD insisted, but he returned to his breakfast rather than running upstairs to retrieve his coat so he could leave.

They ate quietly for a couple minutes, until Bud spoke up. “So what did you get her?”

“What?”

“The girlfriend, what did you get her for Christmas?”

JD mulled this over for a few seconds. “Fuck.”

Bud laughed, “You’d better figure that out.” He returned to his eggs.

Berating himself for not getting her something sooner, JD retrieved his coat from his bedroom. His eyes fell on his guitar, propped haphazardly against the only box he hadn’t unpacked. He had nothing else to give her, so he returned the instrument to its case and brought it with him to Veronica’s house.

He knocked first, but the boisterous activity was audible through the heavy front door, so he let himself in. President Obama nearly knocked him on his ass as soon as he stepped through the door. In a terrified frenzy, the cat climbed up his coat, settling anxiously on his shoulder. JD held very still, hoping to keep the cat from plummeting to the ground, and also trying to spare his shoulder from being further shredded by the cats sharp claws.

Veronica’s cousins arrived first, having been chasing the cat in what was probably meant to be a game. President Obama did not seem to be having a good time. JD shoved down his instinctive desire to pick a fight with anyone who would pointlessly frighten something weaker than them.

Veronica’s arrival helped enormously with that. Furious and magnificent, she glared at her cousins until they sheepishly retreated to another room, abandoning their game. Carefully, Veronica lifted her cat from his shoulder— leaving several small claw marks his coat— but the creature seemed unwilling to part with him, so he ended up twining around JD’s legs and laying down.

JD beamed and pulled Veronica into his arms; happy to pretend the first minutes of his visit hadn’t happened.

Too excited for mere hugging, JD felt the need to lift Veronica into the air, even spinning her a little bit.

“JD, put me down!” Veronica laughed, clinging to his shoulders. She kissed him as soon as her feet were back on solid ground. “Thanks for rescuing my cat.”

“Anything for the president,” JD replied with mock seriousness. But he couldn’t contain his grin for long. “I have news.”

Veronica’s eyebrows arched up eagerly, but she said nothing, waiting for him to continue. He was so excited the words felt stuck in his throat as they rushed to be spoken. “I’m not moving! My dad’s taking a job in Cleveland so he won’t be around much, but he’s never around anyway so it doesn’t matter. I’m staying in Sherwood!”

The squeal that came out of Veronica startled both of them, but none more than the still anxious President Obama, who gave up on human company and ran upstairs.

Ignoring the cat, Veronica hugged JD, beaming. “So what you’re saying is you aren’t going to leave me _and_ you’re going to have even less parental supervision than usual? Sign me up!”

JD laughed and kissed her, taking the time to savor it and discover exactly what joy tasted like. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

They stored his guitar in Veronica’s room— stealing a few kisses on the way— before going to the living room where her family was. As soon as they entered the room, however, Veronica’s mother pulled her aside to hiss “The adults are talking,” so they were forced to join Bryce and Troy in the kitchen.

The boys were crowded around on the table. JD approached carefully, prepared to see a dead squirrel or something equally horrible, but what he saw was worse. Far worse.

It was a gun.

The sleek black handgun rested in its padded case and made him feel ill. His palms were slicked with sweat, and something was bubbling up in his chest, deeper and more intense than the anxiety that he usually associated with weapons.

Veronica hadn’t noticed his discomfort, her eyes were also fixated on the gun. “Why the hell do you have that?”

Bryce and Troy exchanged furtive glances. Troy eventually spoke up. “My dad gave it to me for Christmas.”

The steading breaths JD had been taking were starting to work. He believed he could stay calm, as long as the gun stayed in it’s case.

Troy picked it up, an idiotic smile on his face as he held it, pointed in Veronica’s direction. It took JD less than a second to realize what was wrong and snatch it out of the stupid bastard’s hand.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? The safety wasn’t on, you could have killed someone!” JD’s tone was low and weirdly calm, sounding foreign to his own ears. He flipped the safety on and returned the gun to its case, shutting it so that the offensive thing was out of his sight. Aware that another second in this room would end with one or both of Veronica’s cousins bloody on the floor, JD stormed away.

 

* * *

 

Veronica watched JD walked away, her own fury rising up and she was torn between going after JD and unleashing the full force of her rage on her cousins. After a moment’s hesitation, she chose JD and left her cousins, terrified, sitting at the kitchen table.

She found him in her bedroom, pacing and dragging his fingers through his hair. Rage fell off him in waves, and if he had been anyone else it would have frightened her. But she knew him. She knew he wouldn’t turn his anger on her, so she stood in his path, forcing him to stop his frantic laps across her floor.

“JD,” She started, but had no way of finishing the sentence. Instead, she reached for him, stopping just short of hugging him so he could choose to take the final step. “It’s alright, JD, I’m here.” It was all she had to offer.

It was enough. He sank to the ground, still holding her. She rubbed his back and waited for him to calm down, providing a quiet, calming presence. It was the best she could do.

His head was in his hands and he didn’t look up when he started speaking. “I always knew my mom wasn’t… okay. I knew other moms didn’t do the stuff she did. But there were good days, and every time there was one I guess I thought the bad days would stop. But one day, right after I finished middle school in Texas, I was in my room,” His breathing had become labored, and Veronica leaned into him a little more in a silent show of support. “I heard the gunshot. It startled me; I didn’t recognize it. I knew it was bad though. I ran downstairs, and my dad was already in the living room. He tried to stop me, but I saw her.” He paused, then plowed on. “That’s why I hate loud noises. That’s why I nearly strangled your cousin for not knowing how to handle a gun. For a second I thought you were going to be shot. She used my dad’s gun. Before…. He’d taught me how to use it. He didn’t replace it. I think he was afraid he would use it if he did. Or I would.”

Veronica’s whole body ached with the need to find something to say to him, but no words would come. She felt like she was betraying him with her silence, but there was nothing that could possibly be said to make any of this better. So she said the only thing that she knew was true, “I love you.”

JD nodded, obviously too tired to continue speaking, so she held him quietly. President Obama emerged from under the bed to offer additional comfort by curling up in JD’s lap. He stroked the cat out of habit, but she watched as he began to slowly relax and lean into her.

 

It took nearly an hour for him to start talking again, and it was an apology for over-sharing. She insisted—truthfully—that she didn’t mind. A plate full of stolen brownies and more time cuddling with her cat seemed to finish the job of returning him to normal, he even started to smile.

They looked through the pictures on her wall together to distract themselves. He asked about Betty Finn—who had moved away before senior year started— and pretended to be interested in the Heathers.

“What are you going to tell them?” He asked abruptly, after she’d recounted a rather funny story about Heather McNamara. “About me, I mean, when we get back to school?”

She had thought about it, but she didn’t really know how to answer him. “I don’t know,” She answered honestly, “I don’t want to hide anything, I’m not ashamed of you or our relationship, I don’t care what they think!”

“But?” JD prodded, sensing that wasn’t all there was to the issue.

Veronica sighed, “But the Heathers—Chandler especially— have a way of ruining things. She takes things from us and makes them hers. Like, I used to love the color blue, but then it was all I was allowed to wear and I started to hate it. It wasn’t mine anymore. I want to keep you a secret so they can’t do that to you.”

JD smiled and kissed her, “Veronica, all I want is to be _yours_. I don’t mind being your secret.”

 


	8. Nothing is Merry For More Than A Few Minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short chapter but I feel like this story is beginning to overstay its welcome with my readers. The next chapter is the last, and I think you'll like it so stick with me for just a little longer, okay? So much thanks to everyone who commented, your support really means a lot to me. Enjoy!

They had been correct about Veronica’s mother’s gifts. Unable to bear the crowd of Veronica’s relatives, they’d brought them up here for him to open, and he had received a shirt and two additional sweaters.

Veronica laughed, “I don’t even know when she had time to buy those. Do you hate them? You don’t have to wear them.”

“I don’t hate them.” And he didn’t. They were nice, and now that he had a few new things he could throw out a couple of his more threadbare flannels. He’d never been very picky about his clothes anyway.

Reaching over to ruffle his hair, Veronica smiled, “Good. She’s not always very good at presents. One time she got my dad this book, and had it signed and everything, only for him to open it and realize it was from this other history professor who’s been my dad’s rival for years. They got into some argument during their PhD program and have hated each other ever since. Apparently that happens with professors.”

JD knew that opening the gifts and now the inane chatter Veronica was spouting was an attempt to distract him from all his dark thoughts earlier, and he appreciated it. Something about Veronica was so calming, and her ability to soothe his restless mind was uncanny. He was glad he wouldn’t have to leave her; he could get used to feeling calm.

“So,” Veronica asked, snatching his brownie out of his hand and taking a bite before giving it back, “What’s up with the guitar?”

_Oh, shit._ He hadn’t really forgotten about his Christmas present, but he’d happily shoved it to the back of his mind so he wouldn’t get nervous about it. It had been a long time since he’d played when someone was actually listening. But she’d given him Slushie, the first pet he’d ever owned. It would be wrong not to give her something in exchange. He just hoped it didn’t suck.

“I, um, didn’t get you anything for Christmas, so I thought maybe I could play something instead? You said you wanted to hear…”

Veronica beamed and threw her arms around him, nearly flattening him. “Yes!” She laughed and pulled away so he could sit up and grab his guitar.  

He had several songs memorized, but one in particular had come to represent her in his mind. He’d learnt to play it as an excuse to think about her even more. “Okay, um, this isn’t mine, I don’t write songs. But it’s a good song, and anyway, if you hate it you should just stop me—“

Veronica stopped him with a kiss, “I’m going to love it, just play.”

And he did. And when he got to the part where the lyrics started, he actually sang them. He was very careful about not looking at Veronica for the whole time he was playing. The sight of her staring at him would have been too much and he probably would have stopped. But he played the whole song through, almost flawlessly.

The silence after the last note was almost painful as JD waited to hear Veronica’s response. Finally, he was forced to look up at her, and was startled to see that there were tears in her eyes.

Setting the guitar aside, he pulled her closer to him, brushing the tears off her cheeks. “Was it that bad?” He laughed ruefully, glad to see the little smile that started to play around her lips.

She shook her head and kissed him. He ignored the taste of tears on her lips, happy just to be close to her. When they broke apart she rested her forehead on his. “It was beautiful. Is that… is that really how you feel?”

JD couldn’t meet her eyes and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck; his face had grown oddly warm, despite the cold room. “Yeah, I mean… that song makes me think of you. Of us, I guess.”

Veronica pulled his head back to her and kissed him again. He let his lips trail across her jaw, and further down. Into the curve of her perfect throat he whispered, “I don’t deserve you.”

A soft sigh passed through her lips. “No one gets what they deserve.”

Deciding to analyze that statement later, JD moved back up to kiss her lips again. She tangled her hands in his hair, pulling slightly.

As things began to get more heated, JD slid his hands under Veronica’s sweater, relishing the feeling of her warm, soft skin. She sighed, leaning into the touch. Slowly, he reached for the hem of her sweater and started to lift it up.

“Veronica! Dinner!”

* * *

 

Veronica leapt away from JD as fast as she was capable of moving while JD attempted to do the same thing, but crashed painfully into the bed that was directly behind him.

“Coming mom!” Veronica shouted, trying to hold in her laughter as JD rubbed the back of his head. She went over to help him, gently pushing his hair out of his eyes, and found that he was laughing too. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” His smile was infectious, and it soothed all her worries about a concussion. “We should go, I don’t want to keep your mom waiting.”

Veronica snorted, “More like you don’t want to keep the food waiting.”

JD pulled her close and kissed her. “Yes, because I’m only in this for the food.”

She laughed and held out a hand to help him up. He didn’t let go once he was standing and they walked downstairs hand-in-hand.

“Is there anything I can help with, Mrs. Sawyer?” JD asked, and Veronica couldn’t help but giggle at the massive difference between this version of JD and the one she’d seen so often in the halls of Westerburg.

Her mom was not immune to his charms. “Oh, you should call me Joyce, heaven knows Jim’s mother will insist on being called Mrs. Sawyer.” She smiled and patted JD on the arm, “And it would be lovely if you could help us carry some things into the dining room, thank you for offering.”

She walked away, Veronica and JD trailed behind her. Once in the kitchen, they busied themselves carrying things into the dining room, Veronica thought JD was receiving an undue amount of praise for helping— especially considering the fact that no one was praising her for doing the same thing—but she tried not to begrudge it too much.

Just as everyone was sitting down at the table and beginning to serve themselves, the doorbell rang. Veronica’s mother stood up to answer it.

“What kind of person comes to the door at dinner time on Christmas day?” Veronica’s grandmother griped.

Moments later, Veronica returned with the answer, having invited him to join them for dinner.

“YOU!” Lydia Sawyer stood up, her rage rendering her terrifying, despite the fact that she was the quintessential little old lady. “How dare you show up here, and on Christmas! You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Bud Dean, to his credit, didn’t even blink. “Lydia, how nice to see you again. And contrary to popular belief, I don’t just invade peoples’ Christmas dinners for the hell of it. I came to pick up my son and Joyce was kind enough to invite me to join you.”

One of Lydia’s white eyebrows shot up, while under the table, Veronica reached for JD’s hand, needing support. “Your son?” Her critical eyes turned to JD. “I knew there was something… _off_ about that boy. I told you he was trouble, Jim!”

“Listen you old hag, you can say whatever you want about me, but leave my son out of it.” Bud’s eyes had narrowed, and he took a step forward to stand behind JD.

“Dad, just stop, it’s fine!” JD hissed, but he was ignored.

It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Veronica clutched JD’s hand and watched in disbelief as her grandmother began to engage in a verbal battle with JD’s dad. He was far more reasonable than she was, but that wasn’t saying much.

“To think that you make your money by destroying artifacts of great historical value, I don’t know how you sleep at night!”

“Oh for god’s sake, I don’t destroy buildings for fun! By the time I’m involved the buildings are condemned. Maybe if your organization cared more about preserving the buildings, I wouldn’t have had to come!” Bud finally heaved an exasperated sigh and looked down at JD, “I think we should go.”

JD looked at Veronica, the pain and apology on his face was a mirror to her own. He opened his mouth, but almost immediately shut it again. They both knew there wasn’t anything to say. She nodded in understanding and watched him get up and leave the table, walking out the door with his dad. Moments later, they heard the front door close behind them.

And the dam inside Veronica broke. “Why? Why did you have to treat them like that?”

“Veronica,” Her father warned, but it was too late.

“All of you just sat there! Not a single one of you even tried to stand up for them. You all just looked at your plates and pretended it wasn’t happening. Dad?” she rounded on her father, who wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Just yesterday you said you liked JD, did something change? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Veronica was keenly aware that she was ruining Christmas for everyone else, but they had ruined it for her first, so she didn’t stop. “You should have treated them decently!”

Her grandmother sniffed and glared at her. “Young lady that is quite enough. You need to learn to respect your family! Sometimes that means agreeing with them even when you don’t because you should be loyal to your family first and foremost. That’s simply a part of life as a human being.”

Glowering back at her, Veronica replied. “I guess I picked the wrong time to be a human being then.” Reluctantly, she sat back down and though the conversation moved on, she sat in silence for the entire meal.

 

When she returned to her room hours later, she saw his guitar on the floor and sighed, remembering his gift to her. She pulled it up on her phone, missing his voice but allowing the lyrics to wash over her.

_Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates, won't be alone again_  
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me  
So how do we win?

She lay down on her bed and finally let herself cry.

* * *

 

“Son?” Bud had been standing outside of his door for a while and JD had watched his shadow, waiting for him to speak. “I’m sorry about what happened.”

JD entertained the thought of just ignoring him so he could be alone in his misery, but decided against it. It was tempting to punish him for what had happened, but he doubted it would actually make him feel better. “I’m not welcome at my girlfriend’s house anymore, and I get that it’s not your fault, and I’m not mad at you,” That was mostly true. “But I don’t really want to talk right now.”

Bud left with an audible sigh, and JD was finally alone with his misery. Mostly alone. Slushie had perked up when JD walked in, and— needing some comfort— JD had removed him from his cage and cuddled him for a minute. Now, the hamster was roaming the caves and valleys of JD’s quilt.

Looking away from the hamster, he glanced at his phone, hoping to see a text from Veronica, but the screen was depressingly blank. Should he text her? He typed out the beginning of an apology then immediately deleted it.

He tried again.

And again.

An hour later, he conceded defeat. He didn’t have any idea of what he could say to make this better. He turned his phone onto full volume so he would hear it if she texted and prayed she would have better luck.


	9. Well, This Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's four in the morning, this chapter was long so I had to split it into two, and I'm really tired. I hope you all like this. I forgot to mention that the song in the last chapter is "Sick of Losing Soulmates" by Dodie, it's really sweet go check it out. Special thanks to tumblr user Penguinpatrolerarmy for motivating me to get this done. Enjoy!

_I am going to have a good time!_ Veronica insisted to herself as she stepped out of the shower and checked her phone for the zillionth time since Christmas.

JD hadn’t texted.

Or called.

Almost six days had gone by and she hadn’t heard from him. She also hadn’t reached out, so the blame wasn’t entirely his. After everything that had happened, she had been too embarrassed to try to talk to him. Assuming he didn’t hate her for being remotely associated with the people that had been so rude to him and his dad, he would have at least texted. Because he hadn’t, she couldn’t help but get the impression that he didn’t want anything to do with her.

She had posted a sort of signal to him on her Instagram, hoping it might function as the apology she couldn’t seem to actually type. There was no way of knowing if he’d even seen it. She didn’t even know if he had Instagram, much less checked it regularly. But she would have noticed if he’d followed her, and he hadn’t.

He hadn’t even come to get his guitar. She had placed it carefully in the corner of her room and studiously ignored it whenever she spent time there, though President Obama had started falling asleep on top of it whenever he was in her room. The Polaroid picture she had taken of him the first time he’d come over sat on her bedside table. She tried to avoid looking at that too.  

Moving the picture somewhere more out of her sight, Veronica glanced at her phone again.

_32 Messages- Heathers Chat_

She ignored them all. They were probably buzzing about hairstyles and outfits, and Veronica could wait and talk about all that with them later. Plus, if she said too much they might figure out her deception.

Two days earlier, Heather Chandler had texted her demanding to see a picture of her dress. Knowing that she would never get approval to wear the dress her mother had gotten her, Veronica had sent Heather a picture of a random blue dress she’d found online. Then she’d lied about ordering it.

The real dress hung in her closet in all its revolutionary glory. Despite not having JD in on the joke with her, she was determined to enjoy her little rebellion while it lasted. In fact, she was determined not to think about JD at all for the rest of the night. Starting from the second she left her house, Veronica was going to have a fan-fuckin-tastic night and nothing was going to ruin it.

Doing her hair and makeup helped. Putting on the dress helped even more. By the time she was ready to leave, she felt like she really could forget her worries and enjoy the best party in Sherwood; especially if she had the help of the McNamara’s badly guarded champagne.

As usual, the McNamara’s mansion was spectacularly decorated. It was the only house in Sherwood that had a ballroom, and every year they made sure to put it to good use. It was packed with people, all dressed to the nines, and a swing band in the corner provided the music they were dancing and mingling to.

The Heathers were standing off to the side of the dance floor, easily spotted by Chandler’s bright red dress and McNamara’s gold one (she had received special permission to wear gold because she couldn’t find anything yellow). Duke stood next to them and Veronica couldn’t help beaming when she saw what she was wearing.

Chandler naturally looked livid when she caught sight of Veronica. “You too? Did you bitches plan this shit?”

Duke’s rebellion was brilliant. She still wore green, but she had broken every other rule there was. She was wearing perfectly tailored silver pants, towering heels, and a deep green velvet jacket, giving the overall impression of a classy, alternative tuxedo. Everyone else in the room looked underdressed.

Veronica looked at Duke, trying to bite back her smile, “Actually, no we didn’t. I guess I’m not the only one who’s tired of being your doll, Heather.”

“I think you look nice, Veronica.” McNamara said hesitantly.

“Shut up, Heather!” Chandler snapped, and McNamara’s mouth shut audibly. “I can’t believe this. What the hell will I do about the pictures?”

Seeing the very real anxiety on her face, Veronica put a soothing hand on Heather’s arm. “The pictures will look fine. I still wore some blue and Heather wore green. Plus, some people do post pictures of their friends _without_ picking out their outfits. I promise you’ll still get your likes.” Veronica thought briefly about how different it was to calm down Heather compared to JD. Thinking of him sapped the feeling of victory out of Veronica immediately.

Ignorant of Veronica’s sadness, Heather glared and nodded. “Fine. We’ll start with a selfie to show how much fun we’re having.” The girls crowded obediently around her and Veronica forced a smile while McNamara (she had the longest arms) snapped the picture.

Chandler looked at the picture, her usual critical expression on her face as she cropped it and selected a filter. “It’ll do.” With a flourish, she hit the ‘post’ button.

Veronica snagged a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, praying it would help her forget JD and have a good time.

It did help. By the time she started her second glass, she felt slightly peppier, and the dumb things the Heathers were saying made her laugh. She couldn’t help but wish JD were with her to make fun of the amount of money and pretention in this room, but the more she drank the more he slipped to the back of her mind.

“Did you see Ram?” McNamara asked, pointing their classmate out in the crowd. “Doesn’t he look so nice all dressed up?”

“He still looks like Ram.” Veronica pointed out, unimpressed.

Duke held up her glass and clinked it against Veronica’s in agreement.

“Hey, Heather,” McNamara nudged Chandler, who was searching the crowd, “Where’s Hunter? Seems like you’d want to show him off at something like this.”

“He… couldn’t make it.” Chandler replied, scraping her teeth across her lip. Veronica knew she was lying, but chose not to call her out on it.

Duke didn’t make the same decision. “Aw, Heather, is your boyfriend a flake?”

Chandler glared daggers at Duke. “So what? At least I have a boyfriend! You and Veronica are still virgins.”

Veronica looked at Duke and laughed nervously. Duke gave her a strange look until a strange realization dawned on her. “Oh my god, you and—“ She shut her mouth suddenly.

_Could she know? Is there any way she could have found out about JD?_ She was certainly acting like she knew something, but how could she? Veronica grabbed another glass of champagne, downed it, then turned to the Heathers, “Does anyone want to dance?”

McNamara, of course, squealed eagerly, “Yes!” And seized Chandler’s hand to drag her along with them. Veronica followed, but when she turned around, Duke wasn’t behind her, having slipped off into the crowd by herself.

Shrugging, Veronica joined Heather and Heather on the dance floor, hoping that if she spun fast enough, she would stop wishing she was spending a quiet New Years Eve with her boyfriend.

* * *

JD threw an orange into the air, catching it just before it smashed into his face, and then repeated the sequence over again. And again.

He’d been doing this for the better part of an hour, and for some reason, it wasn’t making him feel better. His eyes wandered over to his phone, and a very bad idea popped into his head.

Going back to his orange throwing, JD tried to ignore the bad idea, but it wouldn’t go away. It hovered, pulling his eyes back to the phone.

He missed the orange and it smashed into his forehead painfully. Setting the fruit aside, he sat up and picked up his phone, but didn’t turn it on. Turning it over in his hands, JD considered his bad idea.

Well… Veronica wouldn’t necessarily have to know about it…

“Slushie,” He said to his hamster, who looked up as if he realized he was being spoken to. “I’m about to do something dumb and a little creepy. If you think I should stop, say something.”

The hamster was silent, so JD turned his phone on and pulled opened the app store. Sacrificing his ideals as a pretentious non-conformer, he downloaded Instagram and searched Veronica.

It was tempting to scroll through all of her photos just to see her face, and the first picture he tapped to get a better look was a selfie of her. “Yeah, this is creepy, I need to stop. Stalking my maybe ex, former fake girlfriend is wrong.”

He didn’t stop. Instead he pulled up her most recent picture, a selfie of her smiling with the Heathers. The picture was cropped too close for him to see what she was wearing, but he hoped she’d rebelled somehow. He might have been able to pretend that meant she was thinking of him. He knew he should stop staring at the photo, but he’d missed her and it was hard to look away.

Everything they’d been through had given him the ability to read her face pretty well, and now he searched it for signs of how she was doing. Her smile was one he recognized from dinner with her relatives. She was smiling, but her eyes were sad, as if she only smiled because she knew it wasn’t acceptable to cry right then.

“It’s none of my business.” He insisted to Slushie, who ignored him and continued to nose around in his cage. “If she wanted me around, she would have texted.”

Looking at another post was a mistake, but it was one he made without hesitation. It was one of her calligraphy projects, and it changed his entire perspective on her feelings. For there, in elegant black script, were the words “I can finally see you’re as fucked up as me/ so how do we win?”

It was from their song. The song he’d sung for her in a desperate attempt to show his gratitude for everything she’d given him.

He was on his feet and pulling his shoes and coat on before he realized he’d made up his mind to go anywhere. But he knew he had to be where she was, no matter what it took to get there.

Barreling downstairs, he called out to his father, “I’m going to do something stupid, I’ll call you later!”

“Try not to get arrested!” Bud slurred in response, raising his beer in an odd kind of salute.

JD didn’t make any promises.

The McNamara’s mansion was a fortress, and JD had no idea how to get inside. No one was entering now— the party had started hours ago and it was nearing midnight— so there was no way to sneak in with a group of people. Carefully sticking to shadows, JD circled the house and looked for an open door or window.

Eventually, he came across a second-floor balcony with a set of double doors that were just slightly ajar. He had to climb a nearby tree and make a slightly dangerous leap out of an upper branch, but he made it to the doors and was finally inside.

The next problem was to avoid guests. He would stand out among all these people, and he didn’t want to get thrown out before he saw Veronica. Right now, he was safely ensconced in what he assumed was Heather’s bedroom, but the sounds of the party could be heard from downstairs.

Carefully poking his head out the door, he heard voices that were much too close to be coming from the ballroom. Familiar voices.

“Hey, Kurt, do you think Mrs. M sleeps up here?” It was definitely Ram’s voice, getting closer and closer to where JD was standing. He retreated into the room to look for a hiding place in case they came into the room.

“I don’t know, man. Anyway, I think tonight’s the night for me and Veronica. I’ll ask her out and you know how girls are, she’ll want me to kiss her at midnight,” JD suppressed a gag as the footsteps arrived right outside Heather’s door. He dove under the bed and waited. “I’ll kiss her, then see if I can snag a little more later, if you know what I mean.”

They passed by without entering, which was a relief because if they’d come in, he would have been tempted to start another fight with them. Kurt should have learned his lesson after the last time he’d talked about Veronica.

JD pushed the jocks to the back of his mind. There would be time to think about them later. He needed to stay focused on his mission; finding Veronica. He hauled himself out from under Heather’s bed and stood up.

He was standing in the middle of the room when the door opened.

For a second, he was ready to fight the intruder and run for the door, but he stopped when he recognized who had come in. Heather Duke stood in front of him in some kind of fancy suit, looking upset but not crying.

Her eyes went wide when she saw him and he stepped forward to cover her mouth before she could shout for Kurt and Ram. “Heather, calm down. I just want to talk to Veronica—“

Heather pulled away from him harshly, glaring at him. “I’m sure you do!” There was hostility in her voice, but it felt like that of a wounded animal; a vain attempt to protect herself. “I thought you weren’t really together!” Her resolve seemed to melt away and she crumbled to the ground.

JD sat next to her, not sure if he should try to comfort her. “We weren’t, and then we were, and now we maybe aren’t which is why I _need_ to talk to her. Heather…” He didn’t know what to say.

“You want me to help you, don’t you?” She asked and he could see the tears she was fighting to keep in her eyes.

“Yes.” He answered simply, because he knew he couldn’t ask her to do this, but he didn’t have another choice.

Heather shook her head, “JD, I love her…”

"Do you?” He asked, voicing a question that had been bothering him since they’d spoken. “Or is she the only person in this town who treats you decently?”

She glared, opening her mouth to retort, but nothing came out. After a couple more tries, she sighed at gave up. “I’m not saying I’ll do it, but tell me what you want me to do.”

JD couldn’t hold back his smile, “I can’t go out there,”

Heather nodded and gave him a once over. “Yeah, it’s black tie optional, but it isn’t _that_ optional.”

He ignored her barb and continued, “I need you to get Veronica up here and cover for her while we talk. Just for a little bit.” He grabbed her hands and looked her right in the eye, “Please, Heather.”

 With a great heaving sigh, Heather pulled her hands away from his. “Fine. But someday I’m going to call you and make you help me hook up with the hottest girl you’ve ever seen.”

JD beamed, “I promise.”

* * *

 Veronica and the Heathers had left the dance floor to get food. It was getting close to midnight, and the party was clearly a success. Everyone was talking, dancing, drinking, and mingling. As always, the McNamaras knew how to entertain their guests.

Duke appeared randomly at their side, the confidence Veronica had sworn she could see had faded. She tugged meekly at Veronica’s wrist. “Hey, um, could you help me with something?”

A sinking feeling settled in Veronica’s stomach, while Heather Chandler started to laugh. “Heather, did you sneak off so you could eat this whole time?” She turned to McNamara, “Do you think your parents’ food will taste as good the second time?”

Duke tugged on Veronica’s hand again, “Please, Veronica?”

As much as she hated being a part of this, she wasn’t going to take Chandler’s side. Ignoring the other two, Veronica took Heather’s hand and walked with her out of the ballroom.

“Heather, I thought you were doing better? You said that new doctor…”

Heather laughed, “She’s great, I am doing a lot better. Not perfect but, you know, better.”

“Okay, so where are we going?” Veronica asked, glad she wasn’t about to help her friend make herself sick.

Heather smiled wryly, “It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it.”

Veronica followed her to Heather’s bedroom, and when she opened the door it was as if the floor had dropped out from under her.

JD was there.

JD, wearing his stupid coat and looking wildly out of place, was standing in the middle of Heather McNamara’s bedroom. “Hi.” He waved awkwardly.

* * *

JD felt more uncomfortable than he had in a long time. Something about being with Veronica did that to him, apparently. Of course, it made sense to be tongue tied when she looked like that.

She had rebelled. Her dress was short and black with a puffy skirt. With it, she wore—gorgeously and inexplicably— a pair of blue tights, like some sort of eighties grunge ballerina. It was perfect.

“You look…” He stopped, searching his vocabulary for the right word.

“Anarchistic?” She asked smiling and stepping forward to grab his hands.

He laughed, “Better than that.”

**“** Ooookay,” Heather said moving towards the door, “You two have fun. I’m going to go watch the countdown. I’ll cover for you.”

Knowing how much it cost her to do this, JD felt overwhelmed with gratitude, “Heather… I’ll never be able to thank you for this.”

“No, you won’t.” With one last bitter smile at them, Heather left and shut the door behind her.

Veronica looked up at him, confused. “What was that about?”

The least he could do was keep Heather’s secret, so he shrugged, “Nothing. Anyway, Veronica, I owe you an apology. I should have ca—“

“I don’t care,” She whispered and pulled him into a hug.

JD squeezed her back, feeling as if an enormous weight he didn’t know he’d been carrying was suddenly gone. “I love you,”

Distantly, he heard the countdown to the New Year begin. Veronica smiled up at him, “I love you too.”

In New York, the ball dropped. In the ballroom, people hugged and the band played “Auld Lang Sang”. In Heather McNamara’s bedroom, JD and Veronica kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really do playlists for my works, but if you read that last paragraph while listening to "This Love Won't Break Your Heart" by Annalise Emmerick, you might cry.


	10. A Fuck Ton of Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Thank you all for sticking with this story, it was meant to be short and sweet and it really took off, I'm grateful to everyone who read it and took the time to give kudos or comment. Keep an eye open for my next story, I'm not sure what it'll be so maybe follow me on Tumblr for updates. Enjoy!

“Veronica Jane Sawyer, you had better be out of bed! You need to leave in twenty minutes!”

Sighing and ignoring her mother, Veronica rolled over in bed and reached for her phone. She smiled when she saw that she had a text from JD.

_JD: Are you ready for today?_

_VS: Um, what is there to be ready for?_

_JD: Well, in an ironic twist, we’re going to be spending it pretending NOT to be dating._

_VS: LOL yeah I’m ready. Want to come over after school? I may need to rant about the Heathers._

_JD: Better yet, you could come here; my dad won’t be home. Apparently he’s going to speak with your grandma about a compromise._

_VS: Can you only halfway blow up a building?_

_JD: No, but it makes my dad look like less of an asshole if he at least shows up._

Veronica laughed and set her phone aside so she could get dressed. JD had come back to her house on the first day of January, and awkwardly mended things with her parents. Veronica thought he shouldn’t have to apologize, but he convinced her it wasn’t worth fighting. Afterwards, her father had called her grandmother and convinced her to try to open talks with Bud and the hotel owner. Veronica doubted it would change anything— the building was a mess that couldn’t be saved— but at least her grandmother couldn’t make snide remarks about JD and his dad anymore. It was a start.

By the time she was ready, she was almost late. Quickly tucking her picture of JD into her pocket, she ran out of the house.

Her mom dropped her off in front of the school and she dashed off without saying goodbye. Veronica arrived at her locker breathless and a little windblown, but fairly happy. Even though she knew it was stupid, and possibly risky, she taped the picture to her locker door.

Because she was late, she only had a second to say hello to the Heathers before they had to go to the class. Chandler looked at her outfit critically but didn’t say anything about it. Despite the fact that she’d worn blue, Veronica knew she was on thin ice after disappearing at the party, and she made a point out of complimenting the scrunchie Heather was wearing.

“Thanks, It’s real vintage, I found it in my mom’s stuff.” She patted the large red accessory with a satisfied grin.

Duke and McNamara rushed to add their compliments as well, so it seemed like everything was smoothed over by the time they went to class.

 

Something must have happened over the course of Chandler’s morning. When they met at McNamara’s locker before lunch, Chandler was obviously in a foul mood.

“So Heather, what do you think of Fleming’s dye job? I think she was going for “honey mist auburn”, but she definitely missed auburn!” McNamara smiled at the group, but received a glare from Chandler.

“Shut up, Heather!” Chandler glared at each of them in turn before they continued down the hall towards Veronica’s locker. McNamara hung her head and walked next to Chandler.

“What crawled up her ass and died there?” Duke muttered to Veronica as they walked. “Do you think she’s still not over New Years?”

Veronica shrugged, “Maybe it’s that guy she was seeing? Or maybe the first day back just sucks and she’s taking it out on us.”

Duke nodded and they walked on in silence. McNamara tried to engage Chandler in conversation, but received no encouragement. Veronica stopped at her locker to put her books away before lunch, and was shocked that the Heathers stopped with her.

“You guys don’t have to wait for me,” She offered.

Chandler sneered, “Whatever, just hurry up.”

Veronica opened her locker and quickly stuffed her books into it, not bothering to keep them organized. Heather Chandler was not someone you kept waiting.

Everything went to shit when McNamara spotted the picture. “Hey Veronica, who’s that?”

All eyes turned to the picture on the door of Veronica’s locker and she cursed her idiocy for believing it wouldn’t be noticed. Before Veronica could say anything, Chandler snatched the picture and held it up, squinting at the slightly blurry image. “Who is he? I don’t recognize him.”

Veronica looked at Duke, confused. How could Chandler not recognize JD? He was one of the most infamous guys in school, everyone knew who he was, even if they didn’t know his name. Surely Heather at least recognized the coat?

For a moment, Veronica couldn’t believe her luck, and was about to take the picture away when Heather jerked it out of her reach. “So who’s the mystery guy, Veronica? And why does he have a place of honor in your locker? Don’t tell me you’ve been holding out on us.” There was a barely perceptible threat in Heather’s voice that made Veronica nervous. She had to tread carefully.

“He’s just some guy I met over break. We only hung out a couple times; it wasn’t a big deal.” Veronica made another lunge for the picture, but once again, Chandler held it out of her reach.

“Let me see!” McNamara asked eagerly, ignorant of the tension rising between Chandler and Veronica. Chandler handed her the picture, and McNamara examined it. “Hey, this kind of looks like— Ow, what the hell, Heather?”

Duke had stepped on McNamara’s foot, preventing her from saying who it looked like. Veronica wasn’t sure why Duke would protect JD, but she was grateful regardless.

Rolling her eyes at both of them, Chandler took the picture back from McNamara and began strolling towards the cafeteria.

“Heather,” Veronica demanded, “Give me my picture back.”

Heather’s perfectly painted lips curved into a smile. “I thought it didn’t matter?” She strode into the cafeteria, forcing Veronica and the other Heathers to jog to catch up with her.

Veronica grabbed the sleeve of Heather’s shirt, trying to reach the picture. “Heather give it back, this is childish!” Chandler was often petty, but this sort of joke was usually beneath her. Veronica turned to Duke and McNamara “Guys, back me up here.”

McNamara suddenly became very interested in a poster about the five food groups on the wall. Even Duke looked away, unwilling to blatantly defy Chandler in front of the whole school. Veronica shook her head and allowed all the disgust she felt to seep into her tone, “Thanks.”

Chandler seemed pleased, even mollified, by this and held the picture out to Veronica, “Fine, you can have it back,” Veronica reached out to take it from her, “On second thought… Swim for it,” And she tossed it into the garbage, right into someone’s mushy, half-eaten meatloaf.

All the rage that had been simmering quietly under the surface burst forth and made itself known with three hissed words, “You goddamn bitch!”

 

* * *

JD didn’t look at the Heathers when they walked in. He was reading. Well, technically he was staring at the pages of a book, trying hard not to notice the fact that Veronica had walked in with the Heathers.

He continued to stare at the book, rereading the same page over and over again without taking anything in. Slowly, he became aware of the hissed whispers traveling through the cafeteria. All eyes were on the Heather Chandler and Veronica at the front of the room. Even Dennis— usually so vocal in his promotion for the Foodless Fund—had fallen silent.

There was no point in feigning disinterest, and JD had to be sure this fight wasn’t somehow about him. It seemed impossible that Chandler could have found out about him and Veronica, but what else could they be fighting about? Veronica had told him that she had mostly smoothed things over with Chandler after New Years. Still, he watched closely to make sure she didn’t need backup.

At the table in front of him, he saw Ram nudge Kurt, “Look dude, girl fight!”

The tension between Veronica and Heather was visible from across the room, though JD doubted it was about to come to blows. No one was even yelling, but Veronica had told him that wasn’t Chandler’s style. They seemed to be locked in some kind of battle of will, and it was impossible to tell who was winning.

When Chandler threw something in the trash, JD went back to his book. He assumed the argument was about another note prank that Chandler had forced Veronica to help with, and that Veronica must have won if the note was gone. He picked idly at the pile of French fries on his plate, relieved that the drama was finally over and that it hadn’t been about him.

He looked up when Veronica sat down across from him and stole a couple fries from his tray. “Help yourself,” He muttered with an eye roll, though he was happy to see her. “I thought we were a secret; what are you doing?”

Veronica smirked up at him, “Taking a vacation.” She took a few more fries, not bothering to apologize for the theft.

Recalling their conversation from months ago, he laughed, “I think it’s long overdue.”

“Oh, and I also told Heather Chandler to go fuck herself, so now I’m public enemy number one. Sorry, I probably should have asked before I dragged you down with me.”

She looked sheepish, but he smiled in response. “I don’t mind, I don’t really think I could have gotten any lower on the social hierarchy anyway.” He gestured towards the empty table around them, “No one was lining up to hang out with ‘psycho trench coat kid’.”

Veronica laughed, “Worst nickname ever.”

“I assume one of your friends can take credit for it?”

“No way!” Veronica took a couple more fries off of his tray and he pretended not to notice. “If one of the Heathers had come up with your nickname, it would have been twice as clever and more insulting. When it comes to tormenting their peers, they _never_ take the easy way out.”

JD looked over at the table in the middle of the room where the three girls were eating. “And that’s what we’re up against? This should be fun.”

“Hey, we can handle it, right? You and me together against the world? I, for one, like those odds.” Veronica reached out and held his hand on top of the table, twining their fingers together.

“Me too.” He smiled softly and considered leaning across the table to kiss her when he spotted something over her shoulder. “Which is good, because Heather is on her way over here, and she looks mad.”

Veronica’s eyes went wide, “Which Heather?”

“Duke.”

“Of course, she’s always the messenger. Just try to act natural.” Veronica straightened up and patted her hair, JD tried not to laugh at her unsuccessful attempt to act like she wasn’t nervous.

When Heather arrived at the table, JD could feel the eyes of the entire cafeteria watching them.

Veronica stared her down, surprisingly intimidating for someone who had just seconds before been anxious and fidgety. “What do you want, Heather?”

JD swore he heard the entire Westerburg student body gasp when Heather Duke pulled out the chair next to Veronica and sat down. “You guys started a revolution; I want in.”

JD couldn’t help feeling a little suspicious. “Why?”

Heather smirked at him and pulled a book out of her purse, tossing it onto the table between them so he could see the cover; _A Tale of Two Cities_. “’It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done.’”

Nodding his understanding, JD mused over how strangely appropriate the quote was. Veronica sent him a questioning look and he shrugged; he would explain it to her later.

“So, Heather is furious?” Veronica asked, biting her lip.

“Livid!” Heather giggled a little manically, “She decided that sitting with the school psycho is some kind of a statement and you’re undermining her authority or something. By the time I walked away it was a full blown conspiracy. Oooh, fries!” Heather stole a handful of fries off of JD’s tray, and he completely gave up on attempting to save any of his food for himself.

Looking over at Chandler, JD saw that she was glaring at them and intermittently leaning over to whisper to McNamara. “She looks like she needs a break.”

“We just got back from a break,” Veronica pointed out. “Do you think Heather would ever leave Heather and join us?” It took JD a minute to figure out which Heather Veronica was talking about.

Duke didn’t have that problem, “First of all, let’s not act like we’re picking teams in gym class. Second, she probably wouldn’t; Heather has been Heather’s sheep since grade school, I doubt that’ll change.” She didn’t look happy about it, and JD felt a pang of sympathy for McNamara, who would be Chandler’s only punching bag now that Duke and Veronica were gone.

“So who else do we think might join us?” JD asked, catching Heather’s glare, he amended, “I know you don’t want to act like this is a team thing, but look at her!” He pointed at Chandler, “That girl is planning something and it might help us to have a few more people on our side.”

  All eyes scanned the cafeteria, and settled on the only table that had just one occupant. Veronica was the first to voice the idea. “Martha might. She doesn’t have anything to lose and you used to be friends with her, right Heather?”

Heather nodded, and a sad smile crossing her face, “She was actually pretty cool, before we drifted apart in middle school.”

“Well, then,” Veronica said decisively, “We’ll ask if she wants to sit with us tomorrow.”

They sat quietly for a little bit, and JD guessed they were all thinking about what they were doing. What they had started.  

Heather broke the silence. “Before I forget, Veronica, I brought you a present.” She held out bright red scrunchie, which Veronica took from her with a surprising amount of reverence.

“Heather… How did you get this?” She held it like it was made of rubies.

With a self-satisfied smile, Heather explained, “Heather made one too many bulimia jokes and I snapped. I pulled it out of her hair and walked away, I thought I’d give it to you as a peace offering, but you were nicer about this than I expected.”

"You know what, Heather? I think all of Westerburg might be ready for a change in leadership. And we should really give them what they want.” A slow, mischievous smile spread across Veronica’s face as she turned and met Chandler’s eyes across the cafeteria, tying the scrunchie into her dark hair. “Heather my love, there’s a new sheriff in town.”


End file.
